5MD

5MD: All Seasons
SEASON 1
Emissary Zeke Ben Sisko takes on impatient Prophets, cackling Cardassians, and the Ferengi who dare not speak his name.
Past Prologue Derek Dean The crew get their introduction to a terrorist who can't move foreword. Bashir's overtures leave Garak unimprefaced.
A Man Alone div1701 Odo flunks out of clone college.
Babel Derek Dean Sandwich takes flight before sixteen effulgent variables. Lo and begone! The article has captured a pair of terminologies... name them and count to fox.
Captive Pursuit Nate the Great O'Brien takes some alien fox-hunters to Tosk.
Dax ceedj Come on, come all! It's the Trial of the Trill! The Peril of the Farrell! The Adjudication on the Station! 4 quatloos a ticket, all sales final.
The Nagus Derek Dean Quark learns the wisdom of the 273rd Rule of Acquisition: Don't take over the boss's job until you're really sure he's dead.
Battle Lines Wowbagger After centuries of deathless conflict, two races finally find the Kai to their dilemma.
The Storyteller Nic Corelli O'Brien starts telling tales. Dead men don't tell any. A Bajoran villager tries to draw the logical conclusion.
The Forsaken Nic Corelli The DS9 crew cry out for mercy: "TNG, TNG, why have you forsaken me?" TNG laughs.
Dramatis Personae Nic Corelli Ben cleans his own clock. Odo cleans everyone else's.
Duet Marc Richard (blurb forthcoming)
In the Hands of the Prophets Derek Dean Keiko fights to keep her place as a recurring character when two new ones arrive: a good Bajoran and an evil Bajoran. Fortunately, neither of them really cares.
Read the comic version!
SEASON 2
The Homecoming Marc Richard Blurb
The Circle Derek Dean Blurb
The Siege Kira Blurb
Cardassians Derek Dean In the case of "Finders Keepers" versus "Losers Weepers," Sisko finds for the losers. Dukat doesn't know how to take that.
Melora Soyokaze Bashir falls for a girl... up. Everybody tries to kill Quark; oddly, Odo doesn't let any succeed.
Sanctuary Sa'ar Chasm Bajor can't possibly be the Skrreeans' promised land... or canaan it?
Rivals Sa'ar Chasm The new casino has ill effects on neutrinos and Quark's.
Armageddon Game Derek Dean Bashir and O'Brien see how many pedestrians they can run over for extra points. Or was that "Carmageddon Game"?
Whispers Captain Carnotaur Chief O'Brien gets all worried about a conspiracy when there's really nothing going on at all. Nope, no plotting here. ::: whistles :::
Paradise Derek Dean Sisko and O'Brien find out how the Luddite half lives.
Blood Oath Nate the Great Jadzia goes off with three classic Klingons and comes back with one. Let's not let her near TOS again, okay?
Crossover IJD GAF Bashir and Kira follow a white rabbit down the wormhole. The Terrans get a new hope.
The Collaborator Derek Dean Kira struggles to unravel a labyrinthine web of conspiracy in time to dig her boyfriend out of the jaws of doom. Then she... rats, I'm out of metaphors.
Tribunal Derek Dean The Cardassians put O'Brien on trial for attempting to get through a season without a "torture O'Brien" episode. This would be less of a problem if their principle weren't "guilty until proven guilty."
The Jem'Hadar Derek Dean Sisko takes his first and last road trip with Quark. The Jem'Hadar improve on the original Odyssey by having nobody make it back.
Read the comic version!
SEASON 3
The Search I Marc Richard
The Search II Marc Richard
Equilibrium Derek Dean Jadzia falls off the balance beam. Hopefully the next Dax won't have that problem.
Civil Defense YXC O'Brien faces his greatest engineering challenge yet: DS9's Blue Screen of Death.
Defiant Nic Corelli Tom Riker steals a ship from Starfleet, a base from Kira, and a glorious death from himself. Hey, I got through the blurb without an "Enemy Within" reference! ...Oh.
Life Support Derek Dean Bashir succeeds where Victor Frankenstein failed. Succeeds at failing, that is.
Visionary Derek Dean O'Brien, intrepid time voyager, sees the Vision of the World and all the weird crap that will be.
Prophet Motive Derek Dean Grand Nagus Zek goes from bigeared to bighearted. Well, okay, he was still bigeared.
Through the Looking Glass Marc Richard Sisko has to pinch-hit for himself. The Alliance strikes back.
Improbable Cause Zeke -
The Die is Cast Derek Dean
Explorers Derek Dean All Ben asks is a really old ship and a star to propel her by.
The Adversary Derek Dean The Defiant crew hunt desperately for a traitor on board. Eddington helps, whistling.
SEASON 4
The Way of the Warrior Zeke The Klingons fail to take over DS9, but Worf succeeds.
The Visitor antodav A technobabble explosion shows the Siskos their inner light.
Rejoined Marc Richard Two symbionts, alike in history / in Bajor's system, where we lay our scene / from ancient ties attempt new unity
Little Green Men Marc Richard Quark time-travels to Roswell, where his inflated marketing pitches are mistaken for a weather balloon.
The Sword of Kahless Derek Dean and MmeBlueberry (blurb forthcoming)
Our Man Bashir The Great Meech The station is not enough for Julian. Garak uses his license to gripe.
Accession Andy Taylor Sisko is distraught over the lack of prophecies about "The First Emissary...you know, before that other guy." Kira discovers her true calling.
Rules of Engagement Nate the Great A good officer is court-martialed for firing on civilians... wait, wasn't Tommy Lee Jones supposed to be in this?
Shattered Mirror Derek Dean The Mirror Universe throws Sisko and Jake a curveball: the return of the Jennifer.
Body Parts Sa'ar Chasm Quark finds out he's not worth more than the sum of his parts. Kira gets some of Keiko's.
The Muse Sa'ar Chasm A psychic vampire gets attached to Jake but has to leave when Sisko gets cross. The whole thing gets Odo so shaken up he marries Lwaxana. (Well, how else do you explain it?)
For the Cause Derek Dean Could Kasidy be... an outlaw? And if so, who's the Sundance Kid?
The Quickening Derek Dean Bashir's search for a cure obsesses him almost quickzotically.
Broken Link Derek Dean The Founders punish Odo for changing his URL without telling them.
SEASON 5
Trials and Tribble-ations IJD GAF Sisko and company share the screen with 60s legends, without exposing their backsides. Koloth loses.
Looking For Par'Mach in All the Wrong Places Nate the Great Quark needs someone to watch over him. Jadzia makes Worf do it. (In both senses.)
For the Uniform Derek Dean Eddington wipes that smirk off Sisko's face. Sisko demands a rematch and makes a much Les Miserable showing.
In Purgatory's Shadow Derek Dean
By Inferno's Light Derek Dean
Children of Time Kira The crew decides to crash the Defiant, but forgets to check if that's O/K with Odo.
Blaze of Glory Derek Dean Or is that Blaze of Ben? I forget.
Empok Nor Derek Dean Garak goes nuts, but still has enough presence of mind to try and torture O'Brien.
In the Cards Nate the Great A couple of jokers win a trick for Sisko.
Call to Arms Derek Dean When Dukat wins the station back from Sisko in a poker game, Ben stages a big battle to cover. Jake stays behind in a desperate grab for screentime. Sucker.
SEASON 6
A Time to Stand Andy Taylor
Rocks and Shoals Marc Richard
Sons and Daughters IJD GAF
Behind the Lines Derek Dean
Favor the Bold Kira
The Sacrifice of Angels Zeke
You Are Cordially Invited... Zeke, Kira, Marc Richard, and IJD GAF The preparations for Worf and Jadzia's wedding involve fighting, pain, and torture. Jadzia wonders if they should have followed Trill tradition instead.
Resurrection Kira A phantom from her past menaces Kira, but things don't go quite the way he intendant.
Statistical Probabilities Nate the Great Bashir tries to put the intelligence in military intelligence. Sisko reminds him there's a military in there too.
Who Mourns for Morn? Celeste Morn tricks Quark into a complicated web of lies, deceit, and untruth. What has he got to say for himself?
Wrongs Darker than Death or Night Andy Taylor Kira is Electra-fied to discover why Mothers' Day always brings a smirk to Gul Dukat's face.
Inquisition Nate the Great Julian didn't expect that, did he?
In the Pale Moonlight Zeke Sisko suffers a partial eclipse of the conscience. Garak -- get this -- lies.
His Way Nate the Great After years of angst over Kira, Odo is finally Victorious.
The Sound of Her Voice Nate the Great A corpse plays Dr. Laura to the Defiant crew. Odo goes soft metaphorically for a change.
Tears of the Prophets Derek Dean Sisko must decide whether he will be the Emissary, a Starfleet captain, or the real Slim Shady. Jadzia Gax.
SEASON 7
Image in the Sand Derek Dean (blurb forthcoming)
Shadows and Symbols Derek Dean (blurb forthcoming)
Take Me Out to the Holosuite saxamaphone Sisko tries to form a baseball team but gets a bunch of dead ringers.
Treachery, Faith, and the Great River Derek Dean After Weyoun dies, Weyoun betrays Weyoun to Weyoun (who's actually Odo in disguise).
Once More Unto the Breach Nate the Great Kor imitates the action of the tiger. A really senile tiger.
The Emperor's New Cloak Andy Taylor To prevent an attack of the cloaks, Mirror O'Brien recruits Quark and Rom. What? No, he's not desperate. What makes you say that?
Penumbra Andy Taylor Worf and Ezri do nothing. Yes, nothing. NOTHING! Meanwhile, everybody else really does do nothing.
'Til Death Do Us Part Andy Taylor Sisko gets married, because that always goes so well for him. The inlaws aren't happy.
Strange Bedfellows Andy Taylor The Breen make a last-ditch attempt to beat Morn at his own game. Dukat scores a Winn.
The Changing Face of Evil Andy Taylor When Sisko's ship defies its last, Damar picks up the slack. Winn makes a Solboring discovery.
When It Rains... Andy Taylor Dukat finds out the Kosst of -- okay, you know what? That does it. Not even I can justify these puns anymore.
Tacking Into the Wind Andy Taylor Odo comes unclean. Worf kills one last important Klingon for old time's sake.
Extreme Measures Andy Taylor Bashir and O'Brien have a boys' night out in Sloan's brain. One wonders how they both fit.
The Dogs of War Andy Taylor If Quark were any other man, Worf would kill him where he stood. Ezri and Julian finally resolve their plotline, to the vast relief of other characters eager to get on with their lives.
What You Leave Behind Andy Taylor Everybody dies. Everybody else leaves. The station shrinks to the size of a pea, crushing everybody left on board. Don't you just love happy endings?
"SEASON 8": WHAT YOU COME BACK TO
Chasing After the Wind Nell Big Cheese Kira learns how hard it is to find good help these days. Ben gloats.
Phoenix Foretold Nell Kasidy trips the light monastic. Ezri plays with the new XO's mind.
A Just Cause Nell Julian and Jake take on Long John Silver.
....And They All Fall Down Nell DS9 tanks, ruining Nog's day. Bashir takes over for O'Brien in the getting-tortured department.
The Good Race, The Good Fight Nell Emyn finally gets some characteristics besides a name. Shakaar stomps all over the ashes of O/K.
Visiting Privileges Nell Bashir and Jake contribute to the Save the Cardassians From Everything fund.
Family and Opportunity Nell Nog rescues Rom and Leeta. I'm so mad about that I can't think of a clever episode description.
Linked Sharon Monroe The Founders finally get Odo's URL right, but he leaves them anyway.
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