Five-Minute "Phoenix Foretold"

Kasidy: Ohhhh, what a byoo-ti-ful morrrr-ning, ohhh what a byoo-ti-ful daaayyyy....
Vedek Hatha: I've got a won-der-ful feeeee-ling....
Kasidy: Gyah! Oh, whew, you're a monk.
Hatha: Hey, Emissary's Wife. Check it out -- we're building a baseball field!
Kasidy: The Prophets told you to build a baseball field?
Hatha: Well, we figure if it worked for Kevin Costner....

DS9 Bajorans: Greetings, Most Gracious Warm-Fuzzy-Feeling-Inducing One!
Kasidy: Uh, you can call me "Mrs. Sisko"....

Kira: I hate paperwork. Wow, do I ever hate paperwork.
Kasidy: Wa-hey! Make that Alden guy get off his butt and have lunch with me instead!
Kira: You want to have lunch with Alden?
Kasidy: I want to have lunch with YOU, silly.
Kira: Well, okay. What's the worst that can happen?

Kira: Do this, because I say so.
Alden: But...argh! No fair! I don't wanna play no more!

Vic: Endar, are you drunk?
Alden: (hic) Yesh.
Ezri: Hello, Commander. Are you drunk?
Alden: Nobody likes me! Meanies.
Ezri: Well, sure we do! I like you bunches!
Alden: (hic) Aw, that's nice. I'm going to go play with heavy artillery now.
Ezri: Okie doke.

Kira: So, Kasidy! Just curious.... What's up with Hatha's orb vision? Any details? Prophecies? Come on, spill it!
Kasidy: Oh, I wouldn't want to bore you....
Kira: Aw, c'mon! It's not like we're under a red alert or anyth-
Upper Pylon 2: Ka-BOOM.
Kira: Drrgh!

Ezri: Psychobabble makes me sleepy. Zzzzz...mmm, Julian...zzzzz....
Dream Bashir: Aw, yer cute. But you still suck.
Ezri: Hey! That wasn't very nice!
Upper Pylon 2: I said, Ka-BOOM!

Kira: Rant rant! Rage rant fume! And what do you have to say to that?
Alden: Geez! You act like I meant to shoot the station!
Kira: I don't want to hear your excuses! Go to your room!
Ezri: You don't have to be so harsh, Nerys! Maybe if you hugged him more....
Kira: Oh, sure, I'm always the bad guy!

Ezri: Endar? Hello? Are you ready to play ni...uh-oh.
Emyn: Yo. Just making a brief appearance before I vanish again. I am in serious need of character development, you know.
Ezri: Not now, we're busy!

Mysterious Ghosts of Alden's Past: Boo!
Alden: Noooo! Getawaygetawaygetawaaaayyyyyy!
Ezri: There there. Nice Endar. Goooood Endar....

Quark: Colonel, I need--
Kira: Shaddap.

Kira: Prophets, the man's a nutcase!
Ezri: That's not fair! This is a clinical psychological condition and must be handled delicately!
Kira: I guess you're right. What's your diagnosis?
Ezri: He's a nutcase.

Kasidy: Ahhhh, home sweet -- hey! What are you doing here?
Monks: Oh, not much! Tidying up...tending your garden...rearranging your furniture....
Kasidy: My feng shui! Never put a mirror in a southwest corner, you fools!
Hatha: Oops.

Alden: Gosh, I've severely damaged the station and I almost had a nervous breakdown. What else can I do to get into trouble? Escaping from the Infirmary might work....

Ezri: I only yell because I care!
Alden: Okay, fine. Can we sing again? I wanna sing again.
Ezri: Okay!

Jake: Hi, Kas! Thought I'd give you a call. Y'know, just to say hi, mention Bashir a little....
Kasidy: Good thinking -- the fans get irritable if we don't. Things going okay?
Jake: Sure. Nothing should go wrong.
Kasidy: Is that foreshadowing?
Jake: Eh, probably.

Alden: ....and I have amnesia!
Ezri: Cool! You can be, like, my midterm psychology project! Here, have a trumpet.
Alden: Yay.
(The station turns at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

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This fiver was originally published on August 27, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.