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Five-Minute "Captive Pursuit"

by Nate the Great

Sarda: Quark hit on me.
Sisko: I am not surprised. I'll make sure that --
Dax: A damaged ship is coming through the wormhole!
Sisko: Thank goodness, a real plot.

Sisko: Welcome to the Alpha Quadrant.
Tosk: Um....
O'Brien: His ship's broken.
Sisko: Okay, Chief, go see if you can pull an hour's worth of stuff out of this.

O'Brien: I'm not sure I can fix your ship.
Tosk: I'm running out of time.
O'Brien: Actually, until your ship is fixed you're stuck here. You have all the time in the world as long as I'm babysitting you instead of doing my job.
Tosk: I'm running out of patience.
O'Brien: Welcome to my world.

O'Brien: Since you don't eat or sleep, I'll leave you alone in this room with a computer even though I have no idea whether to trust you or not.
Tosk: Good idea.
O'Brien: I'll leave now so you can familiarize yourself with the best way to abuse the good will we've offered you.
Tosk: I'll do my best.

O'Brien: His ship was shot up. He's not telling us everything.
Sisko: Go fix his ship anyway.
O'Brien: Sure, it's not like I have a whole station to maintain or anything.

O'Brien: Welcome to Quark's. This is where I come when I can't fix anything, your ship for example. Hey, barkeep!
Quark: Here's where I give a little speech about hating that term, even though this is the only time that I do.
O'Brien: Wow, that is a little speech.

O'Brien: He's hiding something, but I still like him.
Sisko: I don't. Just fix his ship and send him away. He's so boring I'd rather deal with Quark again.

Tosk: Computer, show me the weapons.
Computer: Here they are, along with the fastest way to get there.
Tosk: Thanks.
Computer: It's a slow week; we're all desperate for some action.
Tosk: I know how you feel.

Tosk: Why have you imprisoned me?
Sisko: You tried to steal weapons.
O'Brien: Why do I still feel responsible for him?
Sisko: Because you're stubborn about sticking with your first impressions, because he's blatantly playing you for sympathy, or because it's your episode, take your pick.

Dax: A ship kinda like Tosk's is scanning us.
O'Brien: Actually, they're beaming through the shields.
Sisko: Let's go shoot them up. We haven't used up our stunt budget yet. Starfleet Command keeps telling me to use it or lose it.

Hunter: It was way too easy to break in here and take Tosk.
Sisko: I'm not sure I like that idea.
Hunter: We bred Tosk to hunt him.
Sisko: It's wrong.
Hunter: Fine, the Alpha Quadrant is off-limits, now let me go.
Sisko: Why does that supposedly reasonable if not necessarily moral agreement send shivers down my spine?

O'Brien: Ask for asylum.
Tosk: You think I'm crazy?
O'Brien: No, I think we're in need of another pre-commercial-break climax.

Quark: Wanna talk?
O'Brien: Go away, you've used up your endearing annoyance for the episode.
Quark: But --
O'Brien: Brilliant idea! Thanks, Quark.
Quark: Huh?

O'Brien: Hi Hunter, I'm gonna escort you and Tosk back to your ship.
Hunter: Great!
O'Brien: Now if you'll just walk into this dangerous force field....
Hunter: No problem.

Odo: O'Brien and Tosk are escaping.
Sisko: Okay. The faster we get rid of all of these plot threads, the better.

Sisko: You made a huge mess, you know that?
O'Brien: Yeah, but you could've stopped me. Why didn't you?
Sisko: Sorry, but we're out of time. Have a nice consolation gift, like keeping your job.
O'Brien: Yes, sir.
(DS9 rotates at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

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This fiver was originally published on January 9, 2006.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.

All material © 2006, Nate Grant.