Five-Minute "Parallax"
by Admiral Sab

Carey: I want B'Elanna dead. She broke my nose!
Chakotay: That's my girl!

Tuvok: I want B'Elanna put in the brig.
Chakotay: I want her promoted. Nyaa nyaa.
Tuvok: That's not logical. I'm telling!

Seska: I want a mutiny!
Chakotay: Hmmm...I think we'll save the mutiny thing for another episode, okay?

Torres: I wish Carey would disappear.
Chakotay: He will, but only after this season. By the way, I want you to be the new Chief Engineer.
Torres: Eh?

Janeway: I can't think of anything to do with Kes and Neelix, so I'm putting them on the senior staff.
Chakotay: If those two get to be important, so should B'Elanna. You know, Chief Engineer or something.
Janeway: Fat chance. Carey's doing that.
Chakotay: Carey? He'd be better at building shuttles.
Janeway: Shuttles, eh?

Torres: I hate Starfleet! I'm glad I quit!
Janeway: Why did you quit, anyway?
Torres: Um...I felt like it.

Kim: Captain, we're getting a distress signal. Looks like there's a ship stuck in the anomaly of the week.
Chakotay: Torres, do your stuff.
Janeway: Oh no you don't! Carey, supervise her "stuff". And you can all stop snickering, that's not what I mean.

Janeway: You're pushing your luck, Tattoo Boy.
Chakotay: But I really want her as chief engineer!
Janeway: Look, we've still got 35 minutes of the episode to go. Let me be stubborn for now, okay?

Kim: The ship isn't moving. And people are getting headaches. And the Doctor is shrinking.
Janeway: Sigh. It's gonna be one of those days.

Carey: Torres, the captain is having a briefing. Just don't say anything smart there, okay?

Doc: I wanna be tall again!
Janeway: Good for you. Now back to the important stuff -- I want answers, people.
Carey: I've got one!
Torres: No you don't, loser. But I do!
Janeway: Oo, impressive!
Tuvok: Hey, that's my line.

Kim: I think the message is a bit garbled.
Torres: Wrong answer. Want the right one?

Paris: Duh...I don't get it.
Torres: Not surprising, but you're cute so I'll humour you. It's a time loop thingy.
Paris: Boy, that was real informative.

Janeway: How do we get out of here?
Torres: We could try a blah blah blah beam.
Janeway: Ahhhh, of course! Let's do it.
Paris: We're too close. I'd better use a shuttle to get us out.
Janeway: No no, I'll use the shuttle. And I'm taking B'Elanna along.
Paris: I don't blame you! Hey B'Elanna, wanna take a shuttle with me later? We could start something called P/T*....
Torres: Oh, that's realistic.

Torres: Sorry for snapping at you, Captain.
Janeway: S'okay, you were in character. The rest of us had better just get used to it.

Torres: Gah! Two Voyagers!
Janeway: Is it Season 2 already? Anyway, let's go to that one.
Torres: Okay, but I think you're wrong.
Janeway: Nope -- it's your turn to be wrong for once.
Torres: Aw.

Janeway: Take us out through that hole in the event horizon.
Paris: What? That's blatantly impossible!
Janeway: Look, we've written ourselves into a corner, so just do as I say, okay?

Carey: Congratulations on being Chief Engineer, Torres.
Torres: You don't mean that.
Carey: Who cares? I'm disappearing in two episodes. The captain said something about shuttle-building duty....

Chakotay: Told you so. Nyaa nyaa.
Janeway: Oh, shut up.
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

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