Five-Minute "The Mind's Eye"

by Kira

Picard: You know what we need? Some foreshadowing for an end-of-season cliffhanger.
Ambassador Kell: Hello. I'm here to establish conflict within the Klingon Empire and Romulan interference in our political affairs.
Picard: Excellent.

La Forge: There...are...four...lights!
Taibak: I haven't started the interrogation yet, you wuss. I'm just looking for the play button...ah, here it is.
La Forge: What the...Aaaaaaaaa! Make it stop!
Taibak: And after "Angel One," we're going to make you watch "Shades of Gray."

Mysterious Romulan: I would like to establish myself as a shadowy villain to foreshadow later episodes.
Taibak: Noted. You know, you sound a lot like....
Mysterious Romulan: Shhh! It says mysterious Romulan, you imbecile.

Taibak: You must kill Chief O'Brien.
La Forge: But I like Chief O'Brien. He's a recurring character, which makes for really good continuity.
Taibak: Pretend he's Wesley Crusher.
La Forge: DIE! DIE! DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!

Troi: (filing her nails) So, how was your vacation?
La Forge: I was tortured and brainwashed by a bunch of Romulans.
Troi: Uh-huh, that's nice.

Vagh: You have been collaborating with the rebels, you treacherous Romulans!
Picard: You just gave away the ending.
Vagh: Oops.

La Forge: Doesn't inspecting this phaser make you want to assassinate somebody?
Data: Me? No.

La Forge: Computer, transport these weapons to the rebels and make sure I don't find out about it later.
Computer: Oh, so now we're playing hide and seek?

Picard: Who could have tampered with the transporters?
La Forge: I don't know, but whoever it was is sure a genius. Yup, really clever. And I'll bet he's good-looking, too.
Picard: Ha ha, don't be ridiculous. I was nowhere near the transporters.

Worf: All right, I'll need alibis from all of you.
Data: Why don't you just ask the computer where we were?
Worf: I need something to do.
La Forge: Everyone has an airtight alibi except me.
Worf: Well, I'm stumped.

Kell: I hereby establish myself as a nefarious villain.
La Forge: Shouldn't there have been some kind of foreshadowing for that?
Kell: We used up our quota for one episode already.

Crusher: You can't sleep? Is something bothering you?
La Forge: Just post-traumatic stress disorder from being brainwashed by Romulans.
Crusher: Uh-huh. Let me get you some nice steamed milk.

Data: What kind of signal are the sensors detecting?
Computer: A signal that could interface with Commander La Forge's visor and induce him to commit murder.
Data: Disregard that hypothesis. This would only work if he had been brainwashed.

Data: (over the comm) Worf, arrest Geordi.
Worf: Any particular reason?
Data: The computer seems to think it's a good idea.

Data: Some Romulans brainwashed Geordi to kill Vagh. The traitor is either Captain Picard or Ambassador Kell.
Vagh: I think we all know who the guilty party is.
Data: Agreed. You are under arrest. (CLICK) You have the right to remain silent.
Picard: Get these handcuffs off me, you moron!

Troi: Tell me about the shuttle ride.
La Forge: Well, I was playing trivia games with the computer when this Romulan ship decloaked....
Troi: But can you remember anything about Romulans?
La Forge: That's it -- I give up. You people can do your own foreshadowing.
(Ominous music plays at Mediocre Speed)

THE END

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