Richardson and the quest... of DOOMMM!

[Mr. Richardson]

*Mysterious stranger starts walking in, whistling that theme song from Star Trek: Enterprise, before he starts running in panic, with a greenish vulcan/yoda looking thinging chasing after him with an absurdly large gun.*
Yodck: Vacation over, work time it is!
MR. Richardson: But I'm in the army, I haven't been on vacation!
Yodck: Sucks for you, hrrmm? *Locks & loads.*

Mr. Richardson: Alright, alright! I'll write!

Episode VI: Return of a Z- Hey, who the flip are you?
Mysterious Figure: Excellent, you see, my being here will bring forth the reign of the fork, and soon, your most hated anti-you will perish!
'Richardson': He's just this universe's most hated anti-me. There are many others, heck, even clones of the guy in this universe, and they will all fall, like all those before!
'Yodck': I can tell someone woke up on the evil man with a sanity problem side of the bed this morning.
'Richardson': Hush-up you.

++Hanger AA23++
Richardson: *Huff-huff* Look... there... it
Yodck: Move we must, no time there is, horror awaits us here!
Richardson: Flippin' showoff... *Gets in, and activates the turbocharging afterburn thingamaggiy, and couples it to the temporal flux capacitor.* Here goes nothing, here's to ludicrous speed in reverse...

=Important News Bulliten=
Reporter: As you well know, the evil villians have at last gotten smart, and are thinking of ways to really *&^% with the heros. Well, guess what they did now. It should be rather obvious...

=Back to the program=
Strange contraption in back: Tickity-tick-tick;Tickity-tick-tick;Tickity-tick-tick;Tickity-tick-tick; Ticke- oh, you get the point.
Richardson: Yodck, go find out what's ticking, and put your frying pan skills to use.
Yodck: Gladly- *Click, turns back.* Look, you must.
Richardson: Wh- who in the flip are you, you're not Zuke, Zuuke, or my evil mirror...
Really Mysterious Stranger: Bingo, I'm the guy who really knows how to

Device: Ringity-DINg-DING KABLAMO!

Viridian Fool: GAK!

Everybody else: TO THE LIFEPODS! AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhHAHAHHHH!HH!HHH!!!!

+Back at the Base+
"Richardson': Well whaddya know, it worked... where did you get that idea from?
'Yodck': A good question, 'Richardson', how about it, Zuke: Dark Lord of the Sixth?
Zuke: Evil overlord list.
'Richardson' & 'Yodck': Where? *Flipping through pages at ludicrous speed.*
Zuke: Not now, there is a disturbance in the continuty. Something eviller than me is here...
Everyone else: AHH-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-*Big breath*hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-oh, man, you're killing us!
Zuke: You know, I can arrange that for real...

+Meanwhile...+
Yodck: All our mirrors fault, this is. Pay, they will.
Richardson: *Slowly going evil.* No-one, no-one destroys the Viridian Fool and lives. Hell hath no fury like a captain scorned, prepare our deathbots!
Yodck: Good guys, we are, deathbots not we have.
Richardson:*Looks sideways at Yodck in the lifepod.* I blame you for that oversight. When we get back, we are getting deathbots, and then we're going back with the Federation Armada. Now where is that distress call button?
Other lifepod, w/occupant: Dagnabit, someone's gonna pay for this one...
Really, really BFSS: Sneakity-sneak-sneak, lifepods to the starboard peek...

TBC

[Mr. Richardson]

Richardson: And that to your lockdown, *Mumbles something about drill seargents.* I apologize folks... aahhhh!!! *Runs in a circle avoiding the yodck that had just found him.* Hey, I'm back, I'm writing!

Episode VII: One humunga-dunga fleet for hire, price one fiver...

Richardson: Well... the one thing I didn't expect to run into was a fleet. I guess my evil mirror forgot one of the evil overlord rules and put his big fortress on a map.
Yodck: Not, perhaps, for mirror? Perhaps, seeking your BIG FREAKIN' IMPROBABILITY DISTORTIONS? Hmmm!?
Richardson: Well, I guess we did twist the fabric of reality some back there...
Yodck:...........
Richardson: Okay, so we completely ripped the book in two and wrote a new one, at least that also ended up with us getting a rescue fleet.
Tractor-Beam: Thwoomp!
Richardson: Rescue-rescue here we come, here we come..
Yodck: Quiet, be you? Hmmm? Ask to much is it?
Richardson: I want to enjoy it while it lasts, yodck... after all, pretty soon, we could end up with a horde of hostiles marching in. *Yodck headslaps.* Or, we could get spaced, or *Lots of weapon-charging sounds make themselves known.* Or, option one. *Puts his hands up.* Me and my big mouth...

A room with 4 lights.
Richardson: I'm not saying anything other than we have an evil mirror clone of me on the loose, and that there ARE 4 LIGHTS!
e of pie: We know it was you who comepletely sent the improbability detector off the scale. Why did you bring in... Zuuuuuuuuukkkeee.....
Richardson: It's Zuke, not Zuuuuuuuuukkkeee.
e of pie: Quit correcting me when I'm trying to menacingly draw out names! I'm not very menacing otherwise!
Richardson: I will when it doesn't describe another person than the one that came into the universe. Zuuuuuuuuukkkeee is a good clone of Zeke.
e of pie: .... you know, ... SOMEBODY GET THE HAMMER!
Richardson: I'm telling you, evil mirror did it, not me. I was tasked with saving Zeke, and... hey, wait, where is he?

Someplace on Mirrona named Blood Gultch...
Zeke: Eeeeep....
Sarge: Alright blue, where is that thinga-ma-bobbity?
Simmons: Maybe we could make a mind-sifter and pry it from his brains!
Sarge: We're still out of D-batteries...
Simmons: Crap...

Evil lair HQ:
Zuke: I'm still trying to figure out who could be eviller than me... I mean, come on, I wanna destroy an entire solar system, I'm the fricken Dark Lord of the Sixth, how bad-ass can this guy be?
'Richardson': *Whisper to 'Yodck'* He's lost it, before we even got to use it.
'Yodck': *Whisper back* Could be better, he could have remembered to actually bring that fleet!
Zuke: *In a whisper to both.* I'll give you two a hint. I'm smart, the instant I bring that fleet here, all the fiver-verse is going to attack. Let's wait until they can't do anything before we do, hmm? GOT IT?!
'Richardson' & 'Yodck': GAH! Keep it down!

The good Fleet Fiver:
Fleet: Lah-de-dah!
Mysterious thingamajiggy: Hi-yall-do? WHAMMA-ZAMMA!
Fleet: No SPOOOOOOOONNNN!!!

Richardson: What the frick, a fifth light turned on. THERE ARE FIVE LIGHTS!
e of pie: We're under attack? What in the heck would attack the good Fleet Fiver?
Richardson: I told you, my evil mirror. With a better fleet Sixer.
e of pie: Bridge, get the technobabble cannons shooting. Engineering: Get the technobabble generator running, pilots
Richardson: e of pie: Actually turn on the comm panel.
e of pie: D'oh.
Big energy blast: BOOOM!
Yodck: AHHHH!
Richardson: AHHH! YAHHHHHH!
e of pie: The paint job! AHHHH!
FMV II: Mommy... *Listy....*

Richardson: I think we're gonna need another captain...

tbc

[Mr. Richardson]

Hey, guys, if you haven't noticed by now, I'm back. Take a look, laugh out your spleen, and hang on. Come Wendsday, the adventure hits the funny bone head-on.

Yodck: *Smacks Richardson's funny bone. The poor guy immediately collapses, while alternating screaming and laughing up his spleen.* Hmm... works, it does....