The Five-Minute Forums  

Go Back   The Five-Minute Forums > FiveMinute.net > Miscellaneous
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 05-26-2003, 04:52 PM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What is guaranteed to go hideously awry, with a humourous resolution five minutes before the closing credits?

A: A new girlfriend.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #102  
Old 05-26-2003, 08:50 PM
Standback's Avatar
Standback Standback is offline
Transformed Man
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: My own little bubble. It's a pink bubble.
Posts: 671
Send a message via ICQ to Standback Send a message via MSN to Standback Send a message via Yahoo to Standback
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What bribe could possibly be big enough to get Kim to betray Voyager and hand the whole ship over to Seska and the Kazon?

A. Two peanut shells, a stick of fruity chewing gum, and an Everlasting Gobstopper.

[quoteost_uid0]Why does Standback have so much suppressed anger?[/quoteost_uid0]

Surpressed anger? [iost_uid0]Me?![/iost_uid0] You say that one more time and I'll track you down and hound you across the Arctic wasteland and rip your guts out and feed them to the polar bears! [iost_uid0]Angry[/iost_uid0] polar bears!

Hmph.[/colorost_uid0]

__________________
Sal: Where\'s he goin\'?
Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens.
Sal: What? By himself?
--It\'s Walky!, David Willis
Reply With Quote
  #103  
Old 05-27-2003, 01:20 AM
Opium's Avatar
Opium Opium is offline
Calvinist
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Can't sleep, clown will eat me...
Posts: 5,449
Send a message via AIM to Opium Send a message via MSN to Opium Send a message via Yahoo to Opium
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What is the best present to get my best friend's sister for her classy, sophisticated wedding?




A: KAZAM! Pizza in Pink Organza[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life.
Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them.
Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!)
Needing more sleep since before 2003
Reply With Quote
  #104  
Old 05-27-2003, 03:18 AM
NeoMatrix's Avatar
NeoMatrix NeoMatrix is offline
Factorial
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 6,139
Send a message via AIM to NeoMatrix Send a message via MSN to NeoMatrix Send a message via Yahoo to NeoMatrix
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q:What did Q do to Neelix's latest meal?

A: Instant messagers on Voyager[/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #105  
Old 05-27-2003, 07:52 AM
taya17 taya17 is offline
Primal
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,170
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] What program was single-handedly responsible for the destruction of Voyager in "Timeless"?

_


[bost_uid0]A:[/bost_uid0] Animated gifs


[quoteost_uid0="Standback"]Surpressed anger? [iost_uid0]Me?![/iost_uid0] You say that one more time and I'll track you down and hound you across the Arctic wasteland and rip your guts out and feed them to the polar bears! [iost_uid0]Angry[/iost_uid0] polar bears![/quoteost_uid0]


*readies baguette* You and what army? [/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #106  
Old 05-27-2003, 08:25 AM
NeoMatrix's Avatar
NeoMatrix NeoMatrix is offline
Factorial
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 6,139
Send a message via AIM to NeoMatrix Send a message via MSN to NeoMatrix Send a message via Yahoo to NeoMatrix
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What is the one piece of technology that must never get in the wrong hands?

A: The Burger King[/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #107  
Old 05-27-2003, 12:56 PM
Standback's Avatar
Standback Standback is offline
Transformed Man
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: My own little bubble. It's a pink bubble.
Posts: 671
Send a message via ICQ to Standback Send a message via MSN to Standback Send a message via Yahoo to Standback
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What does Neelix want to be when he grows up?

A. Seventy six trombones.

[quoteost_uid0]*readies baguette* You and what army? [/quoteost_uid0]

Ahh... You are clearly unfamiliar with my army of genetically enhanced Demon Pickles From Hell. I assure you, a measly Baguette of Thwapping is no match for the mighty forces of the Keeper of the Eternal Boofer.[/colorost_uid0]

__________________
Sal: Where\'s he goin\'?
Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens.
Sal: What? By himself?
--It\'s Walky!, David Willis
Reply With Quote
  #108  
Old 05-27-2003, 02:02 PM
NAHTMMM's Avatar
NAHTMMM NAHTMMM is offline
Noodles And Hot Tofu! MMM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: St Louis, MO, USA, . . .
Posts: 2,975
Send a message via Yahoo to NAHTMMM
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. How many musical instruments did the malfunctioning holodeck manufacture for Riker's jam session with Louis Armstrong?

A. He didn't see the "Lane ends in 5,000 ft." sign in time.


[quoteost_uid0="Standback"][quoteost_uid0]*readies baguette* You and what army? [/quoteost_uid0]

Ahh... You are clearly unfamiliar with my army of genetically enhanced Demon Pickles From Hell. I assure you, a measly Baguette of Thwapping is no match for the mighty forces of the Keeper of the Eternal Boofer.[/quoteost_uid0]
Nor for my fearsome team of Tribble Commandos.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list

Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
Reply With Quote
  #109  
Old 05-27-2003, 05:04 PM
NeoMatrix's Avatar
NeoMatrix NeoMatrix is offline
Factorial
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 6,139
Send a message via AIM to NeoMatrix Send a message via MSN to NeoMatrix Send a message via Yahoo to NeoMatrix
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: Why is it bad to go Warp 5 on the Interspace Highway?


A: A quiet day on Voyager[/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #110  
Old 05-27-2003, 05:15 PM
Standback's Avatar
Standback Standback is offline
Transformed Man
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: My own little bubble. It's a pink bubble.
Posts: 671
Send a message via ICQ to Standback Send a message via MSN to Standback Send a message via Yahoo to Standback
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What do you call it when Seven finds a new love interest, Janeway infilitrates a Borg cube, and Kim comes [iost_uid0]this close[/iost_uid0] to getting the ship back home?

A. A psychodelic orangutang.

[quoteost_uid0]Nor for my fearsome team of Tribble Commandos.[/quoteost_uid0]

Hmm... I can see the possibilities. I may contact you at some point regarding a strategic alliance.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Sal: Where\'s he goin\'?
Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens.
Sal: What? By himself?
--It\'s Walky!, David Willis
Reply With Quote
  #111  
Old 05-27-2003, 06:23 PM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What do you get when you drop the Librarian in a vat of paintball pellets?

A: My left foot's ashes.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #112  
Old 05-27-2003, 10:10 PM
Michiel's Avatar
Michiel Michiel is offline
Last of the ko fighters
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 523
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] What do I get if I cut off your left foot, throw it in the fire, crush the rest of your body between two star(ship)s, hack it to pieces and feed it to the fearsome tribble army?

[bost_uid0]A:[/bost_uid0] The ultimate result.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The strength of a civilization is not measured by its ability
to wage wars, but rather by its ability to prevent them.
- Gene Roddenberry
Reply With Quote
  #113  
Old 05-27-2003, 10:15 PM
Celeste's Avatar
Celeste Celeste is offline
Insert canine joke here
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USS Crazy Horse
Posts: 775
Send a message via AIM to Celeste Send a message via MSN to Celeste Send a message via Yahoo to Celeste
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What's better than a regular result?

A. The fourth of July, spent with an Irishman.

[quoteost_uid0="Michiel"][bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] What do I get if I cut off your left foot, throw it in the fire, crush the rest of your body between two star(ship)s, hack it to pieces and feed it to the fearsome tribble army?[/quoteost_uid0]
My god so violent. lol[/colorost_uid0]

__________________
Dental Hygienists are X-Rayted.

*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·`Floss Naked!
Reply With Quote
  #114  
Old 05-27-2003, 10:37 PM
NeoMatrix's Avatar
NeoMatrix NeoMatrix is offline
Factorial
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 6,139
Send a message via AIM to NeoMatrix Send a message via MSN to NeoMatrix Send a message via Yahoo to NeoMatrix
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What is it like to crash on a planet with Chakotay?


A: Tribble stew[/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #115  
Old 05-27-2003, 11:53 PM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What do you have very little of after you sift out the hairs?

A: Nuclear Weasel[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #116  
Old 05-28-2003, 02:23 AM
Opium's Avatar
Opium Opium is offline
Calvinist
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Can't sleep, clown will eat me...
Posts: 5,449
Send a message via AIM to Opium Send a message via MSN to Opium Send a message via Yahoo to Opium
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: Did you hear what happened when Mr. Burns tried to create a workforce out of Disney characters?





A: "Home and Garden" or "Pot and Bong" magazine.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life.
Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them.
Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!)
Needing more sleep since before 2003
Reply With Quote
  #117  
Old 05-28-2003, 03:02 AM
taya17 taya17 is offline
Primal
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,170
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] What are the best materials to start a fire in the Mess Hall?


[bost_uid0]A:[/bost_uid0] Boom shubba lubba!


[quoteost_uid0="Standback"]Ahh... You are clearly unfamiliar with my army of genetically enhanced Demon Pickles From Hell. I assure you, a measly Baguette of Thwapping is no match for the mighty forces of the Keeper of the Eternal Boofer.[/quoteost_uid0]


Evil Sentient Fruit beat Demon Pickles from Hell anyday

(can you feel a war brewing out here?)[/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #118  
Old 05-28-2003, 07:04 AM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: According to Ivonova, what comes after the boom tomorrow?

A: Sweet Georgia Brown[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #119  
Old 05-28-2003, 04:03 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q[/bost_uid0]: What is generally considered to be the opposite of Bitter Alaska Green?


[bost_uid0]A[/bost_uid0]: Wow-wow sauce.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #120  
Old 05-28-2003, 06:07 PM
Celeste's Avatar
Celeste Celeste is offline
Insert canine joke here
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USS Crazy Horse
Posts: 775
Send a message via AIM to Celeste Send a message via MSN to Celeste Send a message via Yahoo to Celeste
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What sauce is spelled the same, forward and backwards?

A. Bite marks from puppy teeth.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Dental Hygienists are X-Rayted.

*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·`Floss Naked!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:12 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.