Five-Minute "The Cloud"

by Jade

Janeway: Hi boys! If I say something funny, will you laugh?
Kim: No, ma'am, we're too nervous.
Paris: And we're not going to ask you to sit with us either, if that's what you're after.
Janeway: Meanies.

Neelix: Drink this icky gooey coffee subsitute.
Janeway: Um....
Chakotay: (over the comm) Ca--
Janeway: On my way! Phew....

Janeway: Report.
Tuvok: Basically, Captain, there's coffee in that nebula.
Janeway: Hey, that's my line!

Chakotay: When I'm upset, I talk to my--
Janeway: I want one!

Kim: Wow!
Tuvok: Shut up, Harry, you've already used up your weekly quota of lines.

Janeway: Oof! Right, that energy barrier hurt me, I'm going to hurt it! Tom, we're just going to have to punch our way through! I will not be denied my coffee!

Kes: Ooh, pretty!
Neelix: Meh.

Nebula: Energy, yum yum--OW! That hussy Janeway just punched a hole through me! Hey, you! Come back here!

Kim: Aaaaaah!
Paris: Shut up and come see what I made!
Holodeck Doors: Swoosh!
Paris: See, isn't Sandrine's a loevly place?
Kim: If I say yes, will you get her off of me? I'm saving myself for Seven.
Paris: Good luck with that....

Chakotay: Here's your animal guide.
Janeway: Ooh, a lizard! I think I'll call him...Tom.
Torres: Hey, Tom's mine!
Janeway: Not for another two seasons, he's not! J/P is such a marvelous thing....
Chakotay: Hey!
Janeway: J/C is too, of course.
Torres: Ahem.
Janeway: Fine, and P/T! Why are you here, anyway?
Torres: Oh, no reason, just to tell you that the nebula was in fact a giant dog.
Janeway: Riiiight....

Janeway: So how do we make the dog better?
Torres: Basically, we let it swallow us again.
Janeway: Great, when can we start?

Neelix: I'm scared of dogs.
Janeway: Too bad. Woof!
Neelix: AAAAAAAAH! (pause) I'm going to go sulk in the mess hall.

Nebula: Woof, woof!
Voyager: AAAAAAAAH!
Nebula: Yum, yum!
Voyager: Ouch!

Paris: Yay, we can surf out of the nebula!
All: Yay! "Eeeeeeeeverybody's gone suuuuuuuuuurfing, surfing nebulaaaaaaaaaaaas...."

Neelix: I hereby appoint myself morale officer.
Tuvok: No, have mercy, HAVE MERCY!

Doctor: Do this and you can heal the dog.
Janeway: And if we do this too, we can avoid being killed!
Doctor: Well, if you must....

Nebula: Ooh, someone's thrown a ball for me to catch!
Voyager: *sew, sew, sew, FLEEEEEEEEEEEE!*
Nebula: Hey, where'd Voyager go? Oh well, I have a new ball now...bouncy bouncy bouncy....

Janeway: Neelix was right -- going into that nebula was a stupid idea. Who'da thunk?

Holo-Gigolo: Ooh, can I start a Janeway/Gigolo 'ship? Can I, can I?
Paris: No, she's mine!
Torres: Hey! What's with all the J/P?
Chakotay: Don't worry, B'Elanna, I'll put an end to it. Here's my cue, Kathryn -- just aim for that redshirt in the corner.
Redshirt: Gak!
Chakotay: Wow, perfect aim!

Janeway: A-koo-chee-moy-ah...hey, what does that mean, anyway?
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

Links:

• Trek Nation guide page
• Printable version

Got a comment on this fiver? Contact the author, Jade.

Site navigation:
Home
___ Five-Minute Voyager
___ ___ Season 1
___ ___ ___ Five-Minute "The Cloud"