Five-Minute "Someone to Watch Over Me"

Paris: So I drove into a burrito stand.
Torres: Can I drive? Particularly away from Seven because she's spying on us.
Seven: I'm just researching relationships.
Torres: Did it have to include the, um, the, er....
Seven: Sex? Yep.

Janeway: You need someone.
Seven: Do not.
Janeway: Do too. Nyah.

Doc: You need someone.
Seven: Okay.

Janeway: Hi.
Ambassador: Hi.
Janeway: Bye.
Ambassador: Bye.

Neelix: We've made sure that you can adhere to your rules.
Ambassador: But I don't wanna.
Neelix: Okay.

Doc: Mating Klingons.
Seven: Done that...kinda.
Doc: Mating Bolians.
Seven: I don't wanna know.

Doc: Welcome to Sandrine's. Let me abuse Paris a bit. Jerk, jerk, jerk. Now, let's get to the lesson.
Seven: Okay.

Paris: What happened to my Sandrine's?
Doc: A failed attempt at continuity. Look at Seven and that hologram, isn't she doing well?
Paris: I don't buy it.
Doc: Wanna bet?
Paris: You're on.

Ambassador: Tasty.
Neelix: Wanna do some of your religious stuff?
Ambassador: No.
Neelix: Uh oh....

Doc: Let's sing.
Doc and Seven: La la la!
Doc: *sigh*

Seven: Here's the list of people who I think I can date.
Kim: WAAAAAAAHHH!
Seven: I want...that one.
Kim: Nah.
Seven: Okay, I'll take the other one.

Seven: Date me.
Chapman: *squeak*

Doc: Seven's got a date.
Paris: Doc's in lo-ove!
Doc: Am not.
Paris: Are too. Nyah.

Doc: You have to wear something different.
Seven: Okay. I'll start taking this off.
Doc: Um....

Chapman: Let's drink.
Seven: No.
Chapman: Let's eat.
Seven: Uh, this thing's freaking me out.
Chapman: Let's dance.
Seven: Let's go to sickbay, shall we?

Seven: This sucks.
Doc: Let's dance.
Seven: Okay.

Ambassador: I wanna join Voyager.
Neelix: Oh, crap, crap, crap crap crapcrapcrap....

Doc: Date me.
Seven: Woo hoo!

Paris: What's one plus one? Marriage.
Ambassador: You're killing me!
Paris: No, I'm trying to commit suicide.

Chakotay: You messed up.
Neelix: Don't I know it.

Seven: Everyone, hi. We're good. Fine. Dude.
Everyone: Bravo! Nice speech! DUDE!

Paris: You won.
Doc: Yay!
Seven: You bastard.
Doc: Oh, crap, crap, crap crap crapcrapcrap....

Doc: We're, um....
Seven: Friends. Okay.
Doc: But but but....

Neelix: It's a hangover.
Ambassador: Oh, crap, crap, crap crap crapcrapcrap....

Doc: Here's some roses.
Seven: Oh, thanks.
Doc: Computer, end program.

Seven: Here's a gift.
Doc: Oh, crap, crap, crap crap crapcrapcrap...I'm singing.
(The D/7 relationship takes off at Ludicrous Speed)

THE END

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This fiver was originally published on January 7, 2001.

DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Paramount Pictures. My intent isn't to infringe on that; I and those like me are just having a little fun in the universe Gene Roddenberry created. I don't think he'd mind.