vil Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: I think I saw him running off with the owner's watch.
Eviller Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: Do you know what this means? Einstein has become the world's first time traveller!
Pa Kent: Why is there a dog in our house? Why is he eating our leftovers?
Clark: And I thought putting your food in a doggy bag was just an expression.
Pa Kent: Please, no jokes at 3 AM. Especially not bad ones. Now would someone just tell me who let the dogs out?
Lois: Wasn't me. After hitting him with my car, I chained him up in the barn.
Clark: PETA must love you.
Chloe: Hey, Clark. How's life with Lois? She find out about your powers yet?
Clark: No, not yet. Wait, what powers?
Chloe: Just remember, I'm here for you as a potential love interest.
Clark: Talking to you gets more and more confusing.
Clark: Here, boy. I'm going to chain you to this tractor. Now don't leave the tractor, okay?
Einstein: ARF!
Tractor: CRASH!
Lois: Oh my gosh! What did you do?
Clark: It was the dog, I swear!
Chloe: Suuuuure, Clark. I believe you.
Evil Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: Can I help you?
Clark: Yeah, can you read the dog tag on this dog?
Evil Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: Uh, sure.
Einstein: ARF ARF!
Evil Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: On second thought, maybe you can do it.
Clark: Way to go, Einstein.
Jason's Mom: Why didn't you give Jason a job like I asked?
Lex: What makes you think I didn't?
Jason's Mom: Why hasn't he broken with up with Lana yet?
Lex: Am I his keeper?
Jason's Mom: Did I say you were?
(repeat ad nauseam)
Ma Kent: It's so nice having a dog around the house. It's like the
daughter I never had.
Pa Kent: What about Lois?
Ma Kent: Jonathan! That wasn't very nice.
Clark: Does LuthorCorp do experiments on dogs?
Lex: Well, hello to you too. Long time no see.
Clark: Just answer the question.
Lex: Yeah, with liquid meteor rock, just like we do on everything else. Why? Did a dog do something incredible?
Clark: Um... no. I was just wondering.
Lex: Good grief, could you be more transparent?
Hercules: GRRR! ARF ARF ARF!
Pa Kent: Good dog, nice dog, good teenagers take off your clothes. Come on.
Einstein: ARF ARF ARF ARF!
Ma Kent: Look! The brown dog is fighting off the black dog! He's baring his teeth like he's hungry!
Lois: Well, you know what they say, "It's a dog-eat-dog world."
Clark: Dad, I heard the dog broke your arm! Are you okay?
Pa Kent: Yes, but Clark there's something I need to tell you. With all the brown dog has done, he'll have to be put down when this adventure is over.
Clark: Put down? But dad, when you found me, did you put me down?
Pa Kent: Well, we tried. It's just that you're invincible.
Jason: Ha, I know all your secrets, mom!
Jason's Mom: Oh no! Not the one about the clown, the tiger, and the spandex jumpsuit last year!
Jason: Okay, almost all your secrets. Like the one about your obsession over the Countess Isabelle and her being Lana's ancestor.
Jason's Mom: But here's something you don't know: Isabelle was put to death by Gertrude, and we are her ancestors.
Jason: No, mom, we're her descendants.
Clark: Lois, look at this book in the vet's locker! It's evil secret plans to rob an armored car later this afternoon.
Lois: How did you figure that out so quickly?
Clark: Well, the big words "EVIL SECRET PLAN TO ROB AN ARMORED CAR THIS AFTERNOON" on the cover was a help.
Clark: Look! There's the armored car! You go help the guards; I'll go help the dogs.
Lois: You are always trying to split the two of us up. What's up with that?
Clark: I work alone.
Lois: If that's a Batman and Robin reference, I'm going to hit you.
Clark: Come on, brown dog, I'm going to free you!
Hercules: WHINE! WHINE!
Clark: Do you mind? I'm busy saving the brown dog.
Liquid Kryptonite: CRASH! SPLASH!
Clark: GAH! Too... much... kryptonite! Should... have... seen... it... coming!
Evil Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: Where did Einstein go? And why's this kid here in the armored car? Gasp! Maybe Einstein's a shape-shifter!
Eviller Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: Idiot, you already saw the two of them together earlier.
Evil Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: Oh yeah.
Eviller Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: All right, time to torch the armored car and everything in it, including Clark.
Evil Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: As the less evil villain, I think I need to take a moment to express my reluctance in doing such evil, evil deeds.
(pause)
Evil Mwahaha-Dog-Trainer Villain: Okay. Light it up.
Einstein: (For those who weren't able to guess from my name, I'm the brains of the operation, so I can easily rescue Clark from his cage.)
Clark: Wow, thanks, boy, you're really smart. When we get home I'll give you some Beggin Strips.
Einstein: (IT'S BACON!)
Lana: So what did you find out about Jason's family?
Chloe: That depends. If I tell you they were descendants of Gertrude will you become possessed again?
Lana: I don't know, but there's only one way to find out.
Chloe: Let's do it.
Jason: Who the heck are you?
Lionel: Oh come on, how can you not know me? I'm Lionel Luthor. The Lionel Luthor. The magnificently evil villain who is so awesome he doesn't need little clich�s like Mwahaha to denote his evilness.
Jason: So you're related to Lex?
Lionel: Sigh. I'm just going to give you this map and then go cry over my lost legacy.
Lois: So what are we going to name the dog?
Clark: I don't know: Krypto, Copernicus, Stompy, whatever. Just as long as we don't call him Lassie.
Ma Kent: Good news. We've decided to let you keep the dog, just as long as you tie this red towel around his neck.
Clark: Cool.
Ma Kent: And bleach his hair.
(More Superman comics references happen at Ludicrous Speed)
THE END
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