Rose: Doctor, what would you say if I told you I wanted to travel to one of the darkest periods of Earth history?
Doctor: I'd happily set the coordinates for plague-infested 14th-century Europe.
Rose: No, Doctor. I was talking about the 1980s.
Doctor: (shudders) Only for you, Rose, only for you.
Jackie: You know, Young Rose, your father Pete was the most wonderful man in the whole world.
Young Rose: Really? Is that why you saved everything to do with him?
Jackie: Of course.
Young Rose: Including the death threats you wrote him?
Jackie: Well, the second most wonderful man, maybe.
Doctor: Ah, the 1980s. A simpler time, when Margaret Thatcher was in power, hairstyles were bad, and I spoke with a Scottish accent.
Rose: I'm finding the idea of an alien with a Scottish accent a little hard to believe.
Doctor: Oh, just wait until the cockney Sontarans, then...
Doctor: You know, I can understand why someone might want to see her parents' wedding, but one of their deaths?
Car: Hit and run!
Pete: GAK!
Rose: Take that, you dsokdpach! HAHAHA! That's what you get for dying and leaving me with Jackie my entire life. Didn't you love the way he GAKed as he went down, Doctor?
Doctor: Well, there is sadism, I suppose.
Rose: Can we do it again?
Doctor: You can't pick two trips in a row. It's my turn now.
Rose: Please? I need to hear that GAK again. It was exquisite!
Doctor: If it gets you to shut up...
Car: Hit and run!
Pete: GAK!
Rose: Take that, you dsokdpach! HAHAHA! That's what you get for dying and leaving me with Jackie my entire life. Didn't you love the way he GAKed as he went down, Doctor?
Doctor: The first one or seven times, sort of. The eleventy-twelfth time, not so much.
Doctor: Besides, it's getting a bit crowded around here.
Doctor: Indeed.
Doctor: I'm getting tired of this, and there's only one way to stop it.
Car: Hit and -- huh?
Pete: !KAG
Rose: What did you do that for?
Doctor: Actually, you did. Let me point my sonic screwdriver at your brain, you'll soon see it my way.
Rose: How could it have the power to do that?
Doctor: They don't call it a deus ex machina for nothing.
Peter: Thanks for saving my life.
Rose: What were you doing up in that tree, anyway?
Peter: Uh, bird-watching. But I'd rather watch you. Would you like to go with me to a wedding?
Rose: This is a little fast. And creepy.
Doctor: Rose, what have you done? Don't you know that changing history by saving one man's life results in all of humankind being eaten by giant monsters?
Rose: I've believed a lot of strange things, Doctor, but I'm finding this one a little hard to swallow.
Doctor: It's true, Rose, I swear.
Rose: I mean, I even believed your instruction that all females on the Eye of Orion are required to go about in the nude...
Doctor: And that was even more true, I promise!
Wedding Guests: Oh no! Monsters!
Sonny: GAK!
Doctor: Everyone, get inside that church! It will protect us!
Rose: Why?
Doctor: Um... it's old. Like, it's made of rock and everything.
Doctor: Rose, no! You can't touch your past self!
Rose: Why not?
Doctor: You'll cause an enormous explosion!
Rose: Really.
Doctor: Yes, you see, it's the paradox inherent in the Blinovitch Limitation Effect.
Rose: But I can stand three feet from her, right?
Doctor: Yes...
Rose: And one foot from her?
Doctor: Yes...
Rose: And one inch from her?
Doctor: Yes...
Rose: But touching her will cause an explosion.
Doctor: Yes! Let me put this in simple terms that even the Brigadier could understand. Zap! Boom! Very bad!
Pete: So you're my daughter?
Rose: Yup.
Pete: And you've come back from the future to see me.
Rose: Yup.
Pete: So... am I a good father?
Rose: Not really. You'd be better off dead, to be honest.
Jackie: Here, unknown girl who seems to be flirting with my husband, hold Young Rose for me.
Rose: What could possibly go wrong?
(SILENCE.)
Rose: Apparently nothing, Mr. Zap-Boom-Very-Bad.
Doctor: Actually, the Blinovitch Limitation Effect was... uh, retconned by the Time War.
Rose: Ah, the Time War. This season's other great contrivance for everything.
Doctor: Anyway, touching yourself still causes something bad to happen.
Jackie: Yeah, God kills a kitten.
Wedding Guests: Oh no! Monster!
Doctor: See? You made that Reaper materialize!
Rose: After the killer shop-window dummies, living skin, evil gas, farting prime ministers, and Adam, I thought I'd seen it all, but this has to be our most improbable adventure yet!
Pete: A future version of my daughter hates me! Life is not worth living.
Car: Hit and run!
Pete: GAK!
Rose: Take that, you dsokdpach! HAHAHA! That's what you get for dying and leaving me with Jackie my entire life. Didn't you love the way he GAKed as he went down, Doctor?
Doctor: This episode is amazingly touching.
Rose: (sniffs) I know. This whole scene is just beautiful.
Doctor: Anyway, your dad dying somehow made everyone else come back to life. It looks like I've saved the day again.
Rose: You didn't even do anything. My dad's action is what fixed it all.
Doctor: I was there. That's good enough in my book.
Rose: Well, now that we've sorted everything out, I have another request... can we visit my mom's death scene?
(The TARDIS dematerializes at Ludicrous Speed)
THE END
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