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The Derek Dean FAQ by Derek Dean (like you couldn't figure that out) |
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Q: So who are you, as if I didn't knowingly and willfully click on the Derek Dean FAQ link?
I'm Derek Dean, or as my friends like to call me, Derek. Q: So what does that stand for? "Doesn't Everyone Really Eat Kellogg's? Doesn't Everyone Act Normal?" Q: Really? No, genius. It's my name. Q: Why don't you use a pseudonym? Well, I normally go by the name Spurk whenever I'm online. However, when I wrote my first fiver, it was published with the name "Derek Dean." As I wrote more and more, my real name kept getting used and so to make a long story short -- Q: Too late. -- I decided to use my real name. Q: So where are you from? I'm from Tallahassee, Florida. Q: Tallahassee? Is that a suburb of Orlando or Miami? No! Haven't you people learned geography? Tallahassee is the capital of Florida. It's nowhere near any major city in Florida! Q: Geez, I was just asking. Just ask your next question. Q: Do you live near IJD GAF? Do you know him? I think it best if you stay away from any more Florida questions. Q: So, uh, how old are you? I was born on May 10, 1979. Q: That isn't an age. That wasn't a question. Q: True. What do you do for a living? I work. Q: No, I mean, what's your job? I program computers. Q: Yawn, how interesting. Do you have any hobbies? No, I let my wife do the creative stuff. Q: Oh, so you're married? To whom? In the forums, she goes by MmeBlueberry. Q: Aw, how sweet. Did you meet through this site? Gosh, no. What sort of people would do that? Q: Is that a rhetorical question? I don't know, is it? Q: I think it is. Sigh. Why don't you ask me something about my fivers? Q: But your fivers suck! I wouldn't know, I just work here. Q: Hey, yeah, how did you end up doing that? In contrast to the other section heads, I kept writing fivers until Zeke offered me a position in order to get me to stop. Q: So does that mean you're going to stop? No. Q: Heh. That's pretty evil. No more evil than lying to you about how I got the job. Q: Your favorite character's Garak, isn't it? Isn't it everyone's? Q: No, my favorite character is Q. That's just because you're named after him. Q: No, it's because I am him. Watch this. (FLASH!) (All the guys on the 5MV staff disappear.) Q: Whoops, that wasn't right.... |
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