Kerrigan: Sorry for severing you from the Overmind, Cerebrate, but it was kinda necessary.
Cerebrate: Huh?
Duran: Kerrigan, your visitors have arrived.
Raynor: Yo.
Kerrigan: Never mind, Cerebrate. Jim, can't you just go one episode without making an appearance?
Raynor: About as well as you can. What did you want?
Kerrigan: We need to do something about the United Earth Directorate. They've taken control of all the Zerg except for a few of mine.
Raynor: So? Let me guess, you want us to help you again. You can't trick me again, after that whole "helping you kill the second Overmind" thing.
Kerrigan: Crap.
Duran: The UED has nullified all your forces except for that clueless cerebrate you just freed.
Cerebrate: Yo.
Kerrigan: Fine, we'll do that now. Then betray Raynor.
Raynor: I heard that.
Kerrigan: No you didn't.
Kerrigan: Thanks for saving all those hives for me.
Cerebrate: Huh?
Kerrigan: You can stop playing the "confused, newly awakened cerebrate" part. We all know you're a gamer who's played through five episodes already.
Cerebrate: Right. That gag didn't come across well anyway.
Kerrigan: Exactly. So, Raynor. About you helping me defeat the UED....
Raynor: Trusting you is dumb. And I'm not dumb.
Kerrigan: You're half right. But since you brought me Emperor Mengsk, I don't need your help so much.
Mengsk: What do you need me for?
Kerrigan: I need psi emitters for reasons even I'm not sure of. Just help me destroy the psi disruptor and I'll help you retake Korhol.
Raynor: Don't help her! You're not really that dumb, are you?
Mengsk: Of course I am. Only my propaganda says otherwise.
Psi Disruptor: ker-BLAMMO!
Kerrigan: You and your fancy explosions....
Mengsk: So are you helping me out or not?
Kerrigan: Sure. But I need you to help me get 10,000 mineral resources first.
Cerebrate: Jeez. Which of you "heroes" is stupid enough to lead that assault?
Artanis: Ooo! Ooo! Pick me! Pick me!
Cerebrate: (sigh)
Duran: Do you think they suspect anything?
Kerrigan: Have you been listening to Raynor at all? Of course they do.
Duran: Then why are they still helping you?
Kerrigan: Who knows? But it sure is convenient.
Kerrigan: Thanks to you Artanis, my broods are now stronger than ever.
Artanis: Glad to be of service.
Cerebrate: You idiot! She's gonna kill you all! YOU ALL!
Kerrigan: Silence, minion.
Mengsk: So are we assaulting the UED now or not?
Kerrigan: We're assaulting the UED now. Do your happy dance.
Mengsk: The Macarena or the robot?
Kerrigan: I really don't care.
UED Defenses: GAK!
Mengsk: Hooray! I'm Emperor again!
Kerrigan: For now....
Mengsk: What's that supposed to mean.
Kerrigan: Uh.. that you're emperor. Now.
Mengsk: That's right! And don't you forget it!
Kerrigan: Cerebrate. Duran. It's time to kill our allies. I want General Duke and Fenix both dead.
Cerebrate: So? I want Raynor dead.
Kerrigan: Too bad. He's a main character.
Cerebrate: And Duke and Fenix aren't?
Kerrigan: Quiet, you. You're not even a character, you're the gamer.
Cerebrate: Point.
Duke: GAK!
Mengsk: (over the comm) I object!
Kerrigan: Meh.
Fenix: GAK!
Raynor: (over the comm) I'm gonna kill you someday.
Kerrigan: Meh. I'm not too worried, Blizzard seems to be taking its time on the sequel.
Duran: My queen, the Zerg under the control of the UED are attacking our outposts!
Cerebrate: Didn't we, er, toast those guys already?
Kerrigan: Indeed we did. I had hoped to rest for a little while, but apparently the "No less than 8 missions per campaign" thing is mandatory.
Duran: Cerebrate, we must attack immedia-- hey! Put down those Doritos and get back here!
Cerebrate: Crap. Caught cheese-handed.
UED Zerg: GAK!
UED Scientists: GAK!
Cerebrate: Heheh. We just continUED our slaughter of the UED.
Kerrigan: Don't make me hurt you.
Kerrigan: All right. It's time we went back to Shakuras and dealt with the leader of the Dark Templar, Raszagal.
Cerebrate: Her? She's the most boring character the Protoss have!
Kerrigan: Yes, but boring equals stupid in this case. Just watch.
Zeratul: (over the comm) Why have you taken Raszagal?
Kerrigan: I need your help to --
Zeratul: How many times this episode have you asked for help, and how many times haven't you betrayed who helped you?
Kerrigan: Uh... I'm pretty sure I'm 2 for 2.
Zeratul: Then why should I help you?
Raszagal: Because I say so. The Overmind is our common enemy --
Zeratul: What kind of logic is that? You're really just helping her because you think "chicks with power are kewl".
Raszagal: Yep. But you're whipped so who cares? Shut up and help her.
Zeratul: (sigh) Yes ma'am....
The Overmind: GAK a 3rd time!
Zeratul: There, I've done what you asked. Now let Raszagal go.
Raszagal: I don't want to go. I love my work with the Zerg.
Kerrigan: Ha! What a stupid, easily manipulated leader you have.
Zeratul: You really, really suck. You know that, right?
Kerrigan: It's her fault. She underestimated me. Everyone underestimates me!
Cerebrate: I didn't.
Kerrigan: You don't count. You're just --
Cerebrate: I know... I know....
Duran: Zeratul has recaptured the Matriarch! They'll have escaped in thirty minutes. To the second.
Kerrigan: Start the countdown. You know what to do, right Cerebrate?
Cerebrate: Kill anything that moves.
Kerrigan: That's right. Except don't waste time killing critters this time.
Ragnasaurs: Whew!
Zeratul: I'd rather kill Raszagal than give her to you as a slave!
Kerrigan: Okay.
Zeratul: Right.
Kerrigan: ...what are you waiting for? Are you killing her or not?
Zeratul: Oh, I'm gonna. Just give me a minute.
Kerrigan: Muahaha! Nothing stands in my way, the universe is mine!
Mengsk: (over the comm) Hey.
Artanis: (over the comm) Yo.
DuGalle: (over the comm) Sup?
Cerebrate: Methinks your cackling was premature.
Kerrigan: Could you take care of that for me? Thanks.
Cerebrate: Lemme guess. A cow level, right?
Mengsk, Artanis, and DuGalle: There is no--
Cerebrate: Yeah, yeah....
Kerrigan: Muahaha! I can cackle securely now!
DuGalle: (sigh) I'll be picking out a bullet to go with my brain if anyone needs me.
Kerrigan: Look at all my power. I make Stalin and Hitler look like the British royal family!
Cerebrate: I dunno. I have a feeling that'll change in the sequel.
Kerrigan: Bring it on, Blizzard.
(Blizzard brings it on at a ridiculously NON-Ludicrous Speed)
THE END
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