The Overmind: Yo, I'm the Overmind.
Cerebrate: Wow! A cerebrate? Will the cool names never end?
The Overmind: Quiet, gamer minion! Your soul purpose is to follow the will of the Zerg, which is me.
Cerebrate: What about that crysalis over there?
The Overmind: Oh, that. Your other soul purpose is to protect it.
The Overmind: Done with the first craptacular mission? I figured. Now we make our way to the planet Char. In order to do that, we have to take the crysalis to a beacon, which is conveniently guarded by Protoss.
Zasz: I'll loan you a few gigantohunormic hydrolisks for no reason. Any questions?
Cerebrate: Yes, but since we're a hive mind I've already asked them, and you've already told me how stupid I am.
The Overmind: Well, now that that's out of the way, we've intercepted a Terran transmission:
Duke: Emperor Arcturus says there's Zerg here. As Terrans, we are xenophobic of xenomorphs. Thus, we're eradicating them.
The Overmind: Excellent job with the eradication of the Terrans. Now do it again, once more, with feeling.
Cerebrate: I am NOT turning this into a musical.
Daggoth: Behold, the crysalis hatcheth!
Crysalis: GAK!
Kerrigan: Yo.
Raynor: For some reason I can see the events occurring over there all the way in my Terran encampment. So let me be the first to say "Holy crap, Kerrigan?"
Kerrigan: Watch as my Cerebrate destroys your forces while secluding me in the base and protecting me from harm.
Raynor: But I've been having dreams lately about you being alive.
Kerrigan: Yeah, er... my bad. I accidently sort of called you and Mengsk to me telepathically. Heheh, funny thing....
Raynor: So are you going to kill me?
Kerrigan: Nah. You're important, thus guaranteed a big part in the finale.
Kerrigan: I want to infilitrate a Terran science vessel and uncover clues about my past.
Zasz: Does the Overmind will it?
Kerrigan: Hey, I'm special because I have free will. Just call me Locutus of Zerg, and you'll get the idea.
Zasz: Is what she says true, Queen Overmind?
The Overmind: Yes. And please, don't call me that in front of the other cerebrates.
Ghost: They say some Zerg got onto this science vessel and infested it. Do you believe that?
Marine: Nah. Now let's drink some of this beer we put in the cooler with that nuclear warhead and -- AAAGH! ZERG!
Ghost: I'm a sad ghost. And since we're all expendable anyway....
Nuclear Warhead: Click.
Science Vessel Amerigo: KABOOM!
Kerrigan: Well that was fun. Say, wait a second; I sense a disturbance in the force.
Tassadar: Yo.
Kerrigan: Holy crap! There are Protoss on Char? Er, I mean yes. I could sense it!
Tassadar: Stop being such a phony and face me in battle already.
Kerrigan: You didn't really have to ask, I was going to anyway.
Tassadar: I know. But we are a proud race, and as such we must state the obvious whenever possible.
Kerrigan: Banzai!
Tassadar: Pop!
Kerrigan: Crap, you're just an illusion.
Tassadar: Haha, fooled you! You'll never guess what I was doing while distracting you.
Kerrigan: Were you... creating an illusion?
Tassadar: Now who's stating the obvious?
Daggoth: Zasz is dead.
Kerrigan: Meh. We've got that reincarnation thing, right?
Daggoth: No, you're thinking of Hinduism. Anyway, his brood is in disarray. Cerebrate, you still there?
Cerebrate: Of course. Just because nobody was talking to me doesn't mean I went anywhere. Somebody's got to play this thing.
Daggoth: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, your new mission is to destroy the remnants of the Garm brood.
Cerebrate: Hooray! Finally some Zerg on Zerg action!
Daggoth: Er, right.
The Overmind: My silence is broken!
Cerebrate: Since when have you been silent?
The Overmind: Silence! I have discovered that the Protoss who murdered Zasz are known as the Dark Templar.
Cerebrate: Kinda like the Dark Jedi?
The Overmind: No, this is more of a two correct paths kind of thing, like Black and White Magik.
Cerebrate: Ah.
Daggoth: We shall set a trap for these Dark Templar. By "trap" I mean "onslaught of Zerg forces", and by "we" I mean "you".
Cerebrate: Hey, wait a sec! You never said anything about guarding beacons!
Daggoth: Oh, yeah. That. Look, just make sure that the Dark Templar don't escape from the beacons you're supposed to be guarding while simultaneously defending your three bases and building a force large enough to destroy all the Protoss on the map.
Cerebrate: I'm not sure I'm on the level.
Daggoth: Of course you aren't; there is no cow level!
Kerrigan: What is this dark magik you wield? This power to stay cloaked at all times?
Zeratul: Yeah, we're pretty damn cool all right. If you only knew the power of the dark --
Kerrigan: Look, let's not rip things off more than we're already doing. Besides, I'm more evil than you and you know it.
Zeratul: (sob)
The Overmind: The time has come to invade the Protoss homeworld Aiur. Your job is to harvest the Khaydarin crystals so that I may be incarnated on the planet.
Cerebrate: But won't that make you weak, and vulnerable to attack?
The Overmind: Yes! Like Tarkin before me, I am giving the enemy a glimmer of hope before I destroy them.
Cerebrate: But didn't Tarkin --
The Overmind: Less knowledge of the Star Wars universe, more crystal gathering.
The Overmind: Yay! Shiny crystal! Now we have only have one task left to accomplish before I can be manifested on the planet.
Cerebrate: I thought that task was the crystal thing. And let me tell you, that's one of the hardest levels of the game!
The Overmind: Game? You think this is a GAME? Get down on the planet and level the temple revered as holiest by the Protoss so I can put my disgusting biomass there.
Cerebrate: Think highly of yourself much?
The Overmind: Quite much.
Cerebrate: There you go little drone! Plant that Khaydarin crystal on the ruins of the most sacred Protoss monument of all.
The Overmind: Very good, Cerebrate. Now that I'm planted firmly in the homeworld of our greatest foe, nothing can stand in the way of the mighty Zerg swarm!
Cerebrate: So... mind if I play as Protoss now?
The Overmind: Sure, go right ahead.
(The swarm encompasses Aiur at Ludicrous Speed)
TO BE CONTINUED....
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