Derek Dean presents....

The Top 10 Rejected Plotlines for a Star Trek/Smallville Crossover Episode

10. Kirk and Clark are locked in mortal combat by Jor-El; despite Clark's superpowers, Kirk only gets his shirt ripped, but decides not to kill Clark and instead makes a speech
9. Lana swears she saw a spaceship and men materialize from it who could shoot lasers from their hands; nobody believes her
8. Clark and Lex join forces against Kirk after he sweeps Chloe, Lois, Lana, and Martha Kent off their feet simultaneously
7. Earth's solar system gets screwed up and can only be fixed by Clark making Earth spin backwards while the Enterprise slingshots around the sun
6. Kirk and Spock realize that Lana Lang MUST DIE!
5. Kirk drinks more of the coffee he did in "Wink of an Eye" and then challenges Clark to a race around the world; the Flash sits this one out
4. Kirk takes Clark under his wing and points out being mild-mannered isn't any fun; Clark wonders what made Kirk think he was in the first place
3. Uhura, Chekov, and Sulu meet up with Chloe and Pete and get drunk as they realize how little they ever seem to do
2. Red kryptonite mutates some plant spores causing everyone to act out of character until McCoy discovers the limitless possibilities of green kryptonite and cures everyone

1. Clark and Lex fight Kirk and Spock with swords; needless to say, there's lots of slashing

Comments? Contact the author, Derek Dean.

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