#101
|
||||
|
||||
PICARD: Setting, San Francisco California, United States Of America. The year, 1945 A.D. The office of Dixon Hill, Private Investigator.
COMPUTER: Programme complete. You may enter when ready. Ah, the early days of the holodeck when the scenario had to be constructed from the ground up each time. How I don't miss them... MADELINE: Hi, Dix. PICARD: Madeline. Good to see you again. MADELINE: You're too much, Dix. You make it sound like you ain't seen me in a year. Really, Picard hasn't been here since "The Big Goodbye"? I get that it's a joke for the viewers, but it doesn't make sense in-universe. MADELINE: Are you kidding? The last time we had a new case, Hitler and Stalin were bosom buddies. Given limited research, Madeline is referring to 1941, with it being 1945 now. I call four years to be stretching hyperbole a bit. I'd have used "the last time we had a new case, we weren't at war yet." (Picard takes off his coat and hat, turns on the radio and looks around. The song is 'Let's Get Away From It All, sung by a group that sounds like the Beverly Sisters. He sits down, puts his feet up on the desk and relaxes) The Beverly Sisters were sort of the British version of the Andrews Sisters, from the 1950s. Anachronistic. "Let's Get Away From It All" was written in 1941, but it didn't become a standard until the late '50s. Anachronistic. LWAXANA: Unavailable? Ship's business? You mean ship's business takes precedence over me? TROI: I'm afraid so, Mother. LWAXANA: Oh, well, he was too old for me anyway. Lwaxana's age was never established, but for the sake of argument let's say she was the same age as Majel Barrett at the time of this episode: 57. Picard is sixty at this point. Even if we push Lwaxana a bit younger, I don't really consider this age gap insurmountable, especially for the era of extended lifespans in the 24th century. WORF: I am not a man. LWAXANA: Which is in your favour, men so often being irrational and egotistical. But unfortunately, I've grown accustomed to human companionship. Pity. You'd have made a fine choice. The use of "man" as an exclusive reference to humanity seems a bit odd here. Lwaxana preferring human companionship seems odd, given that she had a Betazoid husband before Ian ("Dark Page", which is after this, granted). LWAXANA: Well, who's next, Mister Homn? (Homn thinks, then puts his hand across his eyes) LWAXANA: Ah yes. Geordi? Really? The guy is terrible with women, he's way too young for her, being only a year older than Deanna, and doesn't have the skills to help lead the Fifth House. And is he likely to leave the ship, or did Lwaxana really get ambassadorial status only to give it up to be an officer's wife? Or does this "Phase" allow for living separately with occasional booty calls? PICARD: Ah, now let me see. That would be Scotch, neat. "I was drinking Scotch a hundred years before you were born and I can tell you that whatever this is, it is definitely not Scotch." TROI: Mother, what are you doing here? You can't just stroll on to the Bridge whenever you feel like it. LWAXANA: I didn't just stroll on, dear. I took the turbo tube, or whatever you call it. This is a real question-why did the turbolift even let her on the Bridge? One would imagine that you'd either need a commbadge or your specific lifesigns programmed into the list of allowed users. Then again, I suppose Lwaxana's ambassadorial status allows her full access to secure areas. It's still rude of Lwaxana, of course. REX: I'm as jumpy as Haircut Lapinski trying to land on a fraction. You'd think there would be someone the studio could call about '40s-era colloquialisms. This one just sounds dumb, the New Math won't hit the scene for almost twenty years! RIKER: Well, troubles. We've got some, Captain. It seems that a certain woman, both wealthy and beautiful, now thinks that that she's going to marry me. It's the "wealthy" part that confuses me. Betazoid strikes me as a culture that may care about nobility and titles, but is still post-scarcity and moneyless. The Sacred Chalice of Rixx is just a moldy clay pot, after all, symbolic rather than commercial value. LWAXANA: Hello, computer? Is Commander Riker still on the Bridge? COMPUTER: Negative. Riker is currently in holodeck three. You'd think she could've asked about the captain earlier, but it's amazing how many plotholes can be dismissed with the excuse of "the Phase is muddling her thinking." LWAXANA: He's strong. I get no thoughts from him at all. Nothing. I've never known a man so able to keep his true feelings completely hidden. The idea of a race immune to Betazoid telepathy is unknown to her? Chalk another plothole up to Phase-muddled thinking... LWAXANA: Don't bother to deny it. Your minds are so unsophisticated I can read your thoughts in my sleep. Their robes are lined with ultritium, highly explosive, virtually undetectable by your transporter. I don't like the idea of a substance that isn't covered by ordinary scans, but only shows up when you specifically tell the computer to look for it. I'd prefer it if each delegate had one part of a two-part explosive, each part totally benign unless you're in the presence of something available on the planet that could combine them. Memory Alpha * First appearance of Robert O'Reilley, as Scarface. We won't see him as a human again until "Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang." Nitpicker's Guide * It's odd that Picard wears a dress uniform a lot this episode, but Troi doesn't. * Phil questions why Troi didn't detect any malicious intent on the part of the Antedians. Easy answer, she wasn't around them when they weren't in stasis until the end, and by then she was distracted by her mother. * Phil also questions how Picard got so much more adept at smoking between "The Big Goodbye" and if the damage reverses itself. I can't dispute the first part, this seems like only his second time in the world of Dixon Hill. The second part is easy-the holodeck can duplicate every aspect of a cigarette except the damaging part. * Phil claims that the Dixon Hill part takes place in 1941 when radios took time to warm up (although it would make the Hitler/Stalin reference more accurate). In "The Big Goodbye" 1941 is specified, but in this episode Picard clearly says 1945. While it's not weird to think that the literary adventures of Hill take place over four years, one wonders why they changed the year for this.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#102
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
The "Manhunt" fiver is good all the way through, no standout bits to call out.
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
#103
|
||||
|
||||
Another late entry, sorry about that.
July 10th, 1989, "Peak Performance" No fiver Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode WORF: Despite their reputations, this Zakdorn does not appear to be a very formidable warrior. This raises the question: at this point (i.e. no Jem'Hadar yet) who besides the Klingons rigorously train in hand-to-hand combat? (If the novels are to believed, the Vulcans do. I refer you to the novel Sarek). And Zakdorn are as capable as anyone of using ship's controls to fire on another ship, right? KOLRAMI: Captain Picard, it is my understanding that you initially resisted Starfleet's request for this simulation. PICARD: Yes. KOLRAMI: May I know why? PICARD: Starfleet is not a military organisation. Its purpose is exploration. Cue SF Debris rant. I'll just repeat one of Chuck's arguments: BEING READY FOR COMBAT IS STILL YOUR JOB! RIKER: I think it's a waste of effort to test our combat skills. It's a minor province in the make-up of a starship captain. IT'S STILL YOUR JOB! (He seems to be building a matchstick ship, The door chime makes him break a stick.) WORF: Enter! RIKER: Am I disturbing you? (Worf sweeps the wreckage off the desk) WORF: Just finished. Poor Worf. One wonders if he's built a ship in a bottle yet. WORF: If there is nothing to lose, no sacrifice, then there is nothing to gain. RIKER: You mean besides pride. Exactly. While I can buy that Klingons don't believe in simulated or "safe" combat (they probably never invented laser tag), I can't buy that "pride" is the only thing to gain. I can't think of anything else at the moment, but there must be something... RIKER: You're out-manned, you're out-gunned, you're out-equipped. What else have you got? WORF: Guile. The mind is the best weapon any of us will ever have. That's why the Borg keep losing, that's why the Dominion lost. LAFORGE: So you're going to beat him? RIKER: Nope. LAFORGE: Well, then it's going to be a close one. RIKER: No. LAFORGE: But you have got a chance? RIKER: Nah. LAFORGE: Are you going to bother to show up? RIKER: Sure, Kolrami is the best ever at Strategema. Just to get to play him is a privilege. Understandable, but I feel this time Riker's priorities are a bit misplaced. Kolrami already doesn't like you, you don't want to give him more ammunition to use against you. At least challenging Spock to 3D chess won't result in him insulting you when he wins. PULASKI: Against an opponent of approximate skill, Strategema can last well over one thousand moves. Sheesh. Why do humans play this game? If Paul Stubbs is to be believed, BASEBALL is too slow to be enjoyed anymore! WORF: I have wagered heavily in the ship's pool that you will take him past the sixth plateau. RIKER: And if I don't? WORF: I will be irritated. When we have a game like Stratagema that the writers know will never be revisited, the number of made-up terms to be used should be limited. What is the "sixth plateau"? Just say X seconds or Y moves! PULASKI: Maybe you should challenge Kolrami to Strategema. DATA: Why, Doctor? PULASKI: Because when someone is that smug, you occasionally have to deflate them just a little. Oh yeah, these people are perfect alright. They don't believe in mourning, but the desire to crush a smug person's ego is perfectly alright. Money doesn't exist but gambling still does. It's a good thing I'm not a psychologist or I'd have a field day with this nonsense... RIKER: (offers him the First Officer's seat) Mister Worf. WORF: Sir, Lieutenant La Forge is a superior officer. The honour should be his. RIKER: Worf, this is a battle simulation. You're my Tactical Officer. I've discussed this with Geordi and we agreed. You need to be at my side. Why is this here? Worf should be at Tactical, and we don't need a First Officer in this case, nobody's going to be hurt! RIKER [OC]: Now, what are the possibilities of warp drive? LAFORGE: Not good. There are only a few dilithium fragments left in the holding clamps. Even if we had crystals that were intact, there's no anti-matter to fuel the drive. It occurs to me that the warp core was designed to aim the matter and antimatter streams at a specific point which corresponds to a critical nexus point within the chunk of dilithium. If all you've got are chips, are they going to split the matter and antimatter streams into multiple smaller streamers, each aimed at a specific chip in a way that will ensure that the resulting plasma streams will coalesce into a proper stream to send to the nacelles? I'd want Data on hand to calculate that sort of thing! RIKER [on viewscreen]: What's the Zakdornian word for mismatch? KOLRAMI: Challenge. We do not whine about the inequities of life. And how you perform in a mismatch is precisely what is of interest to Starfleet. After all, when one is in the superior position, one is expected to win. I have to agree with Kolrami on this one. The Borg are a big reason why we're doing this, and they proved that we need to learn how to improvise in battle conditions. KOLRAMI: Play against a machine. Why should I wish to? We've seen plenty of "android's aren't really sentient beings with rights" sentiments in TNG, but I'm surprised Kolrami would be among those voicing them. Wouldn't he have examined the combat records of the entire senior staff in preparation for this mission? NAGEL: (a lady officer) But what about the viewscreen? WORF: If I am successful, the computer will project a false image of the enemy ship on the main viewscreen. The image on the viewscreen is already an image, Worf is just hacking it. Are there still people who think the thing is just a window? KOLRAMI: I saw no sense in Riker choosing him anyway. Just a non-commissioned child. While Wesley might not be a "senior officer" yet, he's definitely a bridge officer, and Kolrami should've read his record. DATA: In the present context, what did she mean by bust him up? TROI: In her own way, Doctor Pulaski was instructing you to take the shortest route to victory. DATA: As opposed to what? No, Pulaski was saying to decisively defeat Kolrami, humiliate him. Win by ten points instead of one. If we're going to act like Data doesn't have all metaphors memorized by now, we should at least use correct definitions when teaching him.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#104
|
||||
|
||||
KOLRAMI: Having studied William Riker's file prior to this assignment, I have found him wanting.
PICARD: In what regard? KOLRAMI: His work record is exemplary, but, as you well know, a starship captain is not manufactured. He, or she, is born from inside. From the character of the individual. My interviews have revealed a man who displays circumstantially inappropriate joviality, belying the seriousness of his station. Ugh. As we will see in "The Best of Both Worlds", Riker can act like a captain when the time comes to act like a captain. It's not his job to be as serious as a captain when he's not a captain. RIKER: You went back to the Enterprise for that? Wes, you cheated. I'm going to assume that the accusation of "cheating" wasn't in reference to Wes' lie, it's referring to the given scenario: only use what's on the Hathaway. And that is cheating. Here's the real question: Why is the Hathaway here? It was stripped of important equipment and just left in a random star system? Why? I'd almost prefer it if the Enterprise got it from that Zakdorn depot from "Unification" and towed it to the star system next door for these war games. LAFORGE: Ever driven a Grenthemen Water Hopper? RIKER: Yes. LAFORGE: Ever popped the clutch? RIKER: You're saying we're going to stall the Hathaway? This the only mention of a Grenthemen Water Hopper in all of Trek. Of course, I don't think "stalling" is the appropriate metaphor here. I see two major problems with this whole setup: the crystals and streams aren't aligned properly and the antimatter or plasma hits something it shouldn't, or the calculations are wrong and there still isn't enough energy to engage the warp coils. Either we're dead or the inside of the engine gets messed up and we don't move. Not a "stall." PICARD: I am less than an hour away from a battle simulation, and I have to hand-hold an android. PULASKI: The burdens of command. As smug as Pulaski can be sometimes, I like this line. It goes a long way to explaining why she never became a bridge officer. PICARD: It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life. How often have we run into the reality of this truth? DATA: I have several examples of Commander Riker's battle technique. At the Academy, he calculated a sensory blind spot on a Tholian vessel and hid within it during a battle simulation. I hope it's a vessel that's not designed to make a Tholian Web, you don't want any blind spots on those ships! (Kolrami laughs as the Hathaway lands multiple hits on the Enterprise) PICARD: Warp three, evasive. Stand by. Disengage weapons and shields. Re-engage modified beam. KOLRAMI: He's quite good. PICARD: He's the best. Aw, Kolrami has a sense of humor after all. I do like him better than most of the Insane Guest Star Officials of the Week. PICARD: Where are my weapons? BURKE: Unavailable, sir! We cannot disengage the modified beams. The connections have been fused. So...they actually disconnected the phaser arrays from the source of the usual reticulated phased energy and connected them to fancy flashlights? I'd think foregoing the phaser arrays entirely and networking the computers of the two ships to "pretend" to fire would be enough. KOLRAMI: As the Starfleet observer I am ordering you to withdraw! We never got the implication that Kolrami was in Starfleet or had special dispensation to order Picard around. At least in TOS they had good reasons why the Insane Guest Star of the Week couldn't be told to shut up. BRACTOR [on viewscreen]: I am Bractor, leader of the Ferengi attack vessel Kreechta. I shall have the secret of the other Federation ship. Surrender it to me, and I will allow your Enterprise to leave unharmed. You have ten of your minutes. Hi Armin! I'm also reminded of the time on Stargate when Mitchell used "our Earth minutes". Daniel asks, "'Earth minutes'?" Mitchell replies, "Yeah, I always wanted to say that." DATA: Premise. The Ferengi wish to capture the Hathaway believing it to be value. Therefore we must remove the ship from their field of interest. KOLRAMI: And they will soon relocate it after a two second warp. PICARD: There is a way. Okay, here's the thing: ship's sensors have to keep track of everything within range whether they're told to look or not, or else something serious could happen. Two seconds at Warp One is six hundred thousand kilometers, fifteen times transporter range. The warp jump was meant to surprise, not escape. The Ferengi would find them almost immediately. DATA: If the warp engines fail to function, the result could be unfortunate. Understatement of the year, Data. WORF: That only deceive them for a few minutes. Their sensors will soon locate us. Ferengi sensors are so far behind Federation ones that they're that inefficient? They don't operate at the speed of light? Even if they operate at impulse speeds, it would only take ten seconds to find the Hathaway? DATA: I simply altered my premise for playing the game. RIKER: Explain. DATA: Working under the assumption that Kolrami was attempting to win, it is reasonable to assume that he expected me to play for the same goal. WESLEY: You didn't. DATA: No. I was playing only for a standoff, a draw. While Kolrami was dedicated to winning, I was able to pass up obvious avenues of advancement and settle for a balance. Theoretically, I should be able to challenge him indefinitely. PULASKI: Then you have beaten him. DATA: It is a matter of perspective, Doctor. In the strictest sense, I did not win. TROI + PULASKI: Data! DATA: I busted him up. ALL: Yes! Great scene. Nitpicker's Guide * How can Worf hack the Ferengi's viewscreen? He doesn't know how they work! The second edition says that a reader replied that Starfleet's spies in the Romulan empire got the specs, I still don't buy it. * Couldn't our crew have used holodecks for this scenario?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#105
|
||||
|
||||
I forgot to do "The Emissary", I'll have to get back to that.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#106
|
||||
|
||||
June 26th, 1989, "The Emissary"
Fiver (by Marc) Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode DATA: I believe the wiser course of action here is to bend. LAFORGE: You mean fold, Data. DATA: That is correct. Fold. To bend. To make compact or to capitulate. Ugh. If he really has memorized all books ever written about poker, he should know that you can't use a synonym for "fold" here. WORF: Talk or play. Not both. I understand this sentiment. It's possible to do both simultaneously, but people rarely do. RIKER: The Iceman wins again. It's a shame Worf never met Koloth, as Curzon Dax gave him the same nickname. DATA: The game is seven card stud. After the queen, one-eyed jacks and low card in the hole are wild. LAFORGE: Wait a minute, let me write this down. Is this considered a particularly complicated set of house rules? Incidentally, the one-eyed jacks are Spades and Hearts. The King of Diamonds is the only other face card with only one visible eye. DATA: Emergency signal reads as follows. Enterprise to divert to coordinates four-two-three by one one two by five one immediately. Further orders forthcoming. RIKER: That's it? What's the emergency? If K'ehleyr's probe is supposed to be secret, why use an emergency signal? Surely emergency signals are less coding to be more easily understood. Wouldn't a top-secret signal be more appropriate? GROMEK [on viewscreen]: Captain, you will soon be joined by a Federation special emissary from Starbase One Five Three. We Are now transmitting the specifics. DATA: We are receiving, sir. So...the shorter the distance a subspace signal has to go, the more hard it is for someone else to intercept or decode? Reasonable, I suppose, but it still raises more questions. DATA: Apparently there were no starships available on Starbase One Five Three. The envoy is aboard a class eight probe. The idea of "no starships at a starbase" seems odd, but I suppose it wouldn't be a good idea to send a civilian ship within range of a possibly hostile Klingon ship. This is the only mention of Class 8 Probes in canon, although the Technical Manual states it's a medium range probe suitable for multiple missions. PICARD: If the transmitters and the sensors were removed and life-support installed, there would be just enough room for one person. Transmitters, fair enough, K'ehleyr won't need any. No sensors seems rather dangerous, especially for something going at high warp. PICARD: Engage tractor. O'BRIEN [OC]: Transporter beam locked, Captain. PICARD: Energise. Um, don't they have to turn off the probe's warp engines first? Just because the probe is motionless relative to the ship doesn't mean it's not still moving. PICARD: Number One? RIKER: I'll welcome our visitor. Riker could've been in the transporter room by now, I don't think he actually contributed to the rendezvous. RIKER: Something wrong, Doctor? PULASKI: I'm not sure. The readings are quite interesting. Sure, this is needed for the exposition later, but in-universe it makes no sense. Human/Klingon hybrids are hardly common, but there have to be enough of them around for the tricorder to know what standard H/K hybrid lifesigns look like. Remember that Crell Moset can ID a H/K hybrid based only on visual inspection! RIKER: nuqneH. qaleghneS. Translation: What do you want? I am honored to see you. A bit blunt, but apparently a traditional Klingon greeting. K'EHLEYR: You speak Klingon. RIKER: A little. Putting aside Riker's experiences in "A Matter of Honor" (about five months ago in-universe), he seems like the kind of guy who would memorize greetings and farewells in a few of the more common languages. K'EHLEYR: Klingons are not supposed to mind hardship. Nonetheless, I am delighted to be out of that damned coffin. I like her, I wish she could've made more appearances. PICARD: This is Lieutenant-- K'EHLEYR: Worf. So this is where you've been hiding. I told you we'd meet again. Aren't you going to greet me? WORF: I have nothing to say to you. K'EHLEYR: Haven't changed a bit. Well, I missed you, too. Meaningless aside, but their prior encounters are related in the Starfleet Academy novels Line of Fire and Survival. TROI: And you believe you can convince these Klingons that the humans are now their allies? K'EHLEYR: No, not a chance. If you ask me, talking will be a waste of time. Klingons of that era were raised to despise humans. We'll try diplomacy. But I promise you it won't work. And then you'll have to destroy them. I can appreciate being realistic, but in this case I wonder why K'ehleyr is even here. Did she lie to her superiors about her opinion of this mission? Is she still the best choice? Has Ambassador Spock left for Romulus yet? PICARD: Are there any personal reasons you don't want the assignment? WORF: Yes. PICARD: Any professional reasons? WORF: No. (Picard's left eyebrow raises slightly) I withdraw my request, Captain. Nice scene, and a useful lesson for Worf. TROI: I didn't know it was possible for a human and a Klingon to produce a child. K'EHLEYR: Actually, the DNA is compatible, with a fair amount of help. Rather like my parents. Even if these hybrids are rare the tricorder should know what they look like. Even if the "standard H/K hybrid life signs" stored in the tricorder are from K'ehleyr herself. K'EHLEYR: Worf, we're alone now. You don't have to act like a Klingon glacier. I don't bite. Well, that's wrong, I do bite. Ha ha. I still wish K'ehleyr and B'elanna met at some point. K'EHLEYR: I mean, as I see it, we have some unfinished business, you and I. WORF: Not as far as I'm concerned. Nice lie, Worf. WORF: There are always options. K'EHLEYR: Oh, are there? Tell me, whatever happened to that wonderful Klingon fatalism of yours? WORF: My experiences aboard this ship have taught me that most problems have more than one solution. K'EHLEYR: Starfleet hasn't improved you one bit. You're as stubborn as ever. It's nice to see how Worf's character development has progressed with each season. Season One Worf would've gone with "talk, but be ready to destroy them." (She takes out her pent up rage on the poor defenceless glass table. Then the doorbell rings) Cue transparent aluminum ranting again. PICARD: I've never before seen the Lieutenant so unsettled. RIKER: The Iceman's finally melting. I'm reminded of Worf's encounter with the illusionary Klingon woman in "Hide and Q." There's a lot to extract here about Worf's attitude towards women at this time, but that would get boring really quick.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#107
|
||||
|
||||
K'EHLEYR: It's not much of a programme.
WORF: Computer, level two. Great moment. She was asking for it. K'EHLEYR: Worf, you're the perfect Klingon. The ultimate minimalist. Klingons are minimalists? There's a lot to extract here, too. K'EHLEYR: Why didn't we do this six years ago? WORF: We were not ready. K'EHLEYR: I was. WORF: No, we were both too young, too unaware. We lacked commitment. Their relationship evolved from 2357-2359, when Worf was 17-19. Granted, Klingons mature at a different rate than humans, and the issue of when people should lose their virginity is another big discussion for elsewhere, but here's the important thing. Worf seems to believe that sex=marriage at this point. Did he really think so when he was a teenager? K'EHLEYR: Wait. You can't mean-- WORF: We are mated. K'EHLEYR: Yes, I know. I was there. But-- First, this moment is great because it marks the point when K'ehleyr looses control of her "superiority" over Worf. She was pretending to be more mature than she was to maintain control over Worf. Second, "I was there" is a great punchline. K'EHLEYR: Worf, it was what it was. Glorious and wonderful and all that, but it doesn't mean anything. This is an interesting statement. Does she really treat sex as something "hormonal rather than emotional" as Picard put it in "Attached"? K'EHLEYR: I will not take the oath! WORF: Then this night had no meaning. And that, I will not believe. Like I said, Worf has evolved emotionally. He's a great character. K'EHLEYR: Poor android. Whose behaviour do you find more perplexing? Human or Klingon? DATA: At the moment, I would find it difficult to choose. K'EHLEYR: So would I. Nice moment. PICARD: Could the T'Ong be disabled rather than destroyed? LAFORGE: We could probably knock out their warp drive engines without damaging the rest of their ship. K'EHLEYR: That would gain you nothing. Disable the ship, and K'Temoc will destroy it himself. WORF: Klingons do not surrender. I find it dubious that Worf wouldn't know where to fire on such an old ship to disable the self-destruct. DATA: Sensors show life forms aboard, but I am unable to ascertain whether they are awake or dormant. Really? Life forms in stasis must put out sensor reading sufficiently different from ordinary sleep to make it easy to determine. Furthermore, the Enterprise should be able to scan through hundred-year old shields. LAFORGE: I think so. Those old shields weren't particularly efficient at blocking gamma ray output. Um, Geordi? Cloaking device on means shields off. Period. Would it be so hard to say "those old ships weren't particularly efficient and suppressing gamma ray output while cloaked"? RIKER: How did you like command? WORF: Comfortable chair. K'EHLEYR: And you wore it well. She's such a good compliment for Worf, willing to be serious when she has to but silly the rest of the time. K'EHLEYR: I hid the truth from you. Last night did have meaning. I was tempted to take the oath with you, but it scared me. I've never had such strong feelings toward anyone. WORF: Nor have I. K'EHLEYR: Then it was more than just a point of honour. Maybe someday, when our paths cross again, I won't be as easy to get rid of. WORF: K'Ehleyr. I will not be complete without you. How romantic. The Fiver Riker: I'm curious -- what made you choose a career as a special emissary? K'Ehleyr: I decided I didn't have the temperament to become the chief engineer of a Federation starship. "Plus being a diplomat is less dangerous and you get more benefits. At least that's what I thought until they stuffed me into this probe." K'Ehleyr: Lieutenant Worf needs no introduction, Captain. He just needs to decide whether he's going to kiss me or hit me. Worf: And in what order. How tacky. Klingons hit then kiss. And then read love poetry. And claw at you... Picard: What makes you think they would act in a hostile manner if they discovered humans on those planets? K'Ehleyr: They were sent out on their original mission on the same day they learned that James Kirk had beamed eighty-thousand tribbles into their sister ship's engine room. But Scotty said they'd be no tribble at all! Troi: I didn't think humans and Klingons could produce children. K'Ehleyr: Actually, the DNA is compatible. Troi: I was talking about surviving the mating ritual. K'Ehleyr: Well, that can be a concern. Never did like the Worf/Troi romance, even if it gave us a nice novel in Imzadi II: Triangle. Worf: (in Picard's chair) Drop your shields and surrender, K'Temoc! K'Temoc: (on viewscreen) A uniformed Klingon warrior in command of a Starfleet vessel? Impossible! Worf: Skeptical fool! The Empire and the Federation are allies in this century! K'Temoc: How repugnant! For what price did our cowardly leaders sell their honour to these humans? Worf: For the secret of how to prevent tribbles from reproducing! K'Temoc: Not a bad deal. Did they run out of genetic stock to make glommers? K'Ehleyr: Very well. Two to beam over. Worf: Two? Who is the other person? K'Ehleyr: I'll introduce you to him or her when we next see each other. Worf: Then I shall spend the time until your return in a considerable state of expectation. K'Ehleyr: Believe me, so will I. Dun dun dun... Memory Alpha * The planned Worf/Selar romance was scrapped when this episode was written. A pity, while I like K'ehleyr a longer romance with a Vulcan would've made for some interesting stories. Nitpicker's Guide * What was the T'Ong's secret mission anyway? If it's weapons related it wouldn't work because technology would advance while they were asleep. * Why would Worf use a Federation time system talking to a Klingon? Don't the Klingons have their own year system probably related to an event in Kahless's lifetime? * How can this be Worf's first command if he commanded the saucer in "Encounter at Farpoint"? * Would the holodeck have let K'ehleyr attack Worf with a holographic weapon?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#108
|
||||
|
||||
I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping up. Real Life commitments and all that. I'll catch up later.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#109
|
||||
|
||||
no worries! looking forward to it
|
#110
|
||||
|
||||
July 17th, 1989, "Shades of Grey"
No fiver Transcript Memory Alpha For alternate ways to do a bottle show with no budget or time to write a script, I refer you to SF Debris' review. I hate this episode, so let's get this over with and move on to Season Three... The Episode Captain's log, Stardate 42976.1. During a geological survey on Surata Four, Commander Riker has become infected by an unidentified microbe. The survey should've been mentioned in a Captain's Log at the start. Don't ask me why Riker and Geordi are the only two members of a geological survey away team. I get it, no money for extras, but why isn't Data down here? PULASKI: The Commander's nervous system has been invaded by an unknown microorganism. Not a bacteria, not a virus, but with the elements of both. From what I know of bacterial and viral structure, you can't really mix them. PULASKI: The organisms fuse to the nerve, intertwining at the molecular level. RIKER: That's why the transporter's biofilters weren't able to extract it. This seems like a time to bring up the Time Squared method, reconstruct his body using a previous transporter pattern. It's not like Will would miss his memories of this planet. RIKER: Well, these things happen. PICARD: When least expected. RIKER: I'm surprised they don't happen more often. After all, we are exploring the unknown. PICARD: And the unknown can be benign or malevolent. RIKER: Captain, one of the things I've learned anything on these voyages, on this ship, and from you, is that most life forms act out of an instinct for survival, not out of malice. PICARD: It's an important lesson, and I admire your lack of resentment, Number One. RIKER: If you drop a hammer on your foot, it's hardly useful to get mad at the hammer. A shame there wasn't more time to write scenes like this instead of relying on flashbacks. It's almost like Star Trek doesn't need to have expensive alien makeup or special effects every time and could just be people talking every so often! *massive sarcasm* PULASKI: Something wrong? TROI: No, it's just that Commander Riker's emotions are rather passionate. PULASKI: As in erotic? TROI: Very much so. I'd argue about the difference between romantic passion and eroticism, but given that the previous scene was about Minuet, I suspect now's not the time. It's a shame that we couldn't have Troi comment about her feelings regarding Riker's other girlfriends. Plenty of room for character development there. Nitpicker's Guide * When Geordi and Data return to the planet, they know that plant thorns are a potential problem. Why didn't Geordi wear leg protection? * Riker didn't have a single memory not from the previous two years come up?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#111
|
||||
|
||||
September 25th, 1989, "Evolution"
SFDebris already made the Scrubs joke, moving on... No fiver Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode Captain's log, Stardate 43125.8. We have entered a spectacular binary star system in the Kavis Alpha sector on a most critical mission of astro-physical research. Our eminent guest, Doctor Paul Stubbs, will attempt to study the decay of neutronium expelled at relativistic speeds by a massive stellar explosion which will occur here in a matter of hours. Ah, Treknobabble. Neutronium comes from neutron stars, which come from supernovas. "Relativistic speeds" means close to the speed of light, which I doubt something as dense as neutronium could achieve anyway. And "a matter of hours" implies less than a day, which the events of this episode dispute. STUBBS: Over and over again, the intense gravitational pull of the little neutron star sucks up the star material from the red giant, and it builds up on the surface until it explodes, every one hundred and ninety six years. Like clockwork. It's always nice to see a periodic event that doesn't have lots of zeroes in it's cyclical period. And this Treknobabble contradicts the Captain's Log. I doubt that the neutron star can turn the captured stellar material into neutronium in only 196 years. STUBBS: The interstellar counterpart to Earth's Old Faithful. I don't mind blatant Earth references from human civilians. We get the impression that in the Trek universe most non-Starfleet humans prefer to live in predominantly human colonies and planets. CRUSHER: Computer, fix the food slot. COMPUTER: The food slot is functioning properly. Food slot? When did this turn into a TOS episode? CRUSHER: Does he have many friends? Has he ever been in love? It's not hard to see why Wesley wouldn't mention Selea, but I'm confused why Picard or Guinan wouldn't have sent a message to her about this at the time. WORF: Vector. Is gone. And so is the Borg vessel. PICARD: You're telling me this is another computer glitch? DATA: It is conceivable that he was viewing a synthetically generated image, sir. RIKER: That our computer was daydreaming? Creating an image on the viewscreen is one kind of glitch, fooling Worf's sensors with corresponding trajectory readings is another. This must be a very specific glitch if it can fool that many systems in tandem. Are the nanites conducting an experiment here?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#112
|
||||
|
||||
DATA: The system automatically provides for self-correction, Captain. There has not been a systems-wide technological failure on a starship in seventy nine years.
The year is 2366. Subtract 79 years and you get 2287. The only other event in Trek canon in this year is Star Trek V. If that was the intention it's clever, but when I think "systems-wide technological failure" in the 23rd century I think of Scotty's sabotage of the Excelsior, but that was 81 years ago. GUINAN: I've never been any good at being confined to quarters, as my husbands will attest to. There are some disturbing implications here. Couldn't she reference her parents instead? Childhood hijinks would be safer and more relatable! WESLEY: I've been working on my final project for Advanced Genetics. It's on nanotechnology. I've been studying the nanites we have in the Sickbay genetic supplies. They're these little tiny robots with gigabytes of mechanical computer memory. They're designed to enter living cells and conduct repairs. They're supposed to remain confined to the lab. Gigabytes, ha ha ha. This is why the term "quad" exists, writers! PICARD: How many generations are we dealing with here? A question not answered, nor do I think it's particularly relevant. Does Picard know the capabilities of nanites after 1000 generations, 2000 generations, etc.? I doubt it. STUBBS: It's no more mysterious than watching a strain of the Leutscher virus reproduce itself. And that at least is a bona fide lifeform. How many disease germs and viruses have you destroyed in your time, Doctor Crusher? PICARD: Doctor Stubbs, we cannot exterminate something that may or may not be intelligent. Once again we have confusion between "life form" and "Intelligent life form". As of yet we have no evidence that these nanites are any more intelligent than a microbe. And we have no problem killing those. DATA: They could penetrate the molecular fabric of my hand-covering into my nerve circuitry, and interface with my verbal programs. WORF: If they have control of a Starfleet Commander, they become an even greater threat. PICARD: How can we be sure we can get them out of you? A valid concern. I'd call this an unacceptable risk. Would Picard let a crewmember get infected by a potential deadly disease just to communicate with another race? CRUSHER: See? Now that is healthy for a boy his age. I mean that as a doctor, not as just a mother. It is so good to see him having fun for a change, with an attractive young woman who obviously looks at him with extraordinary affection. What do you know about this girl? Haha. Nitpicker's Guide * Wesley's spacing of the traps seems suspect. Phil only mentions the improbable number required at the given spacing, I add that replicating all of these suckers would raise some eyebrows in the Engineering crew. And wouldn't Data notice Wesley making these things?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#113
|
||||
|
||||
I forgot to tell the blue orange juice story. It's a reference to the hilarious TOS novel "How Much For Just The Planet?" Another starship has problems with their food slots, somehow blue dye keeps getting into the food. Eventually they give up and go with it.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#114
|
||||
|
||||
October 2nd, 1989, "The Ensigns of Command"
No Fiver Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode DATA: Captain. Doctor. I am honoured by your presence, but may I suggest you attend the second concert. CRUSHER: Why, Data? DATA: Ensign Ortiz will perform the violin part. My rendition will be less enjoyable. PICARD: Oh? DATA: Although I am technically proficient, according to my fellow performers, I lack soul. CRUSHER: Data, telling us why you're going to fail before you make the attempt is never wise. DATA: But is not honesty always the preferred choice? PICARD: Excessive honesty can be disastrous, particularly in a commander. DATA: Indeed? PICARD: Knowing your limitations is one thing. Advertising them to a crew can damage your credibility as a leader. DATA: Because you will lose their confidence? CRUSHER: And you may begin to believe in those limitations yourself. A good moral. RIKER [OC]: Captain, we're receiving a message from the Sheliak Corporate. Presumably the Sheliak are contacting the Enterprise because they're the closest ship to Tau Cygna. I have a few questions: 1. Why aren't they contacting Starfleet Command? 2. Did they really send ships to colonize without any current data about the planet? They really sent the main colonization fleet without an advance ship to evaluate the planet? 3. Of course the Enterprise is the best equipped to deal with this mission, particularly because of Data and Picard. Any other ship wouldn't be able to even CONTACT the surface in time, much less save them from the Sheliak. No doubt Starfleet Command would've sent the Enterprise anyway, but as written this seems like a wildly improbably coincidence, doesn't it? WORF: Impossible to get an accurate reading. High levels of radiation are disrupting our sensors. DATA: Hyperonic radiation also interferes with ship's transporters. They are now inoperable. WORF: So are the ship's phasers. If the hyperonic radiation can reach the Enterprise in orbit and muck with systems, why aren't people dying and why isn't the Enterprise moving to a safe distance? PICARD: Mister Data, as you are unaffected by hyperonic radiation, I'd like you to go to the planet via shuttlecraft and commence evacuation procedures. Data takes a shuttlepod, Very small. Even if Riker is correct and there's only a dozen survivors, how are they going to fit in the ship? And what about their luggage?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#115
|
||||
|
||||
HARITATH: Look at the markings. It must be from the Federation.
The Artemis was lost in 2274. This is during the post-STTMP second five-year mission (yes, I still believe in that fanon). While the Cochrane delta was modified a bit in a hundred years, I suppose it would still be recognizable. Other stylistic details would be very different. I'd almost prefer that he just say "English writing, it must be from the Federation." Grr...Federation Standard doesn't exist...grrr... PICARD [OC]: Understood. How many are there? DATA: Fifteen thousand two hundred fifty three, sir. An annual growth rate of five percent is pretty generous. 92 years of growth is P/P0=exp(kt)=exp(92/20)=99.5. So there had to be 1,500 people on the colony ship. ARD'RIAN: Cybernetic intelligence fascinates me. Are your neural pathways duotronic? DATA: No, positronic. ARD'RIAN: I didn't know that was possible! Nice to see a TOS reference. And it's amazing that it's possible because positrons are ANTIMATTER! Even if Data's brain can generate an EM field to contain the positrons, why would they be better at the job than normal matter, as positrons would just create "antielectricity", right? SHELIAK [on viewscreen]: Conversation is neither required nor desired. Talk about getting off on the wrong foot. Kudos to Picard for keeping his cool. PICARD: We're going to intercept that ship. RIKER: The Sheliak may interpret that as a hostile act. PICARD: A risk we have to take. Hostile? Unwanted, rude, offensive, sure. But where does "hostile" come in unless the Enterprise locks weapons on them? RIKER: The treaty is the only thing that prevented them from eradicating the colony the moment they discovered it. DATA: Ah. RIKER: Ah is right, Data. Understatement of the year. WESLEY: He wants the impossible. LAFORGE: That's the short definition of Captain. A quote that may have surpassed the episode itself. TROI: Barely. They have learned several Federation languages, but theirs continues to elude us. PICARD: Telepaths? TROI: Attempted and failed. I hope they didn't just try the standard telepaths like Betazoids or Vulcans. Surely there are races of telepaths with brain structures more similar to the Sheliak. HARITATH: You killed him? GOSHEVEN: I've killed no one. I merely shut down a machine. Once Data gets back to the ship I hope he presses charges against Gosheven. He fought hard for his rights, it's time to use them!
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#116
|
||||
|
||||
DATA: Humans seem to take much stronger notice of actions. I require a phaser.
ARD'RIAN: What's a phaser? What's the point of this? Phasers existed in 2274! DATA: Hyperonic radiation randomises phaser beams. But I believe I can improvise a servocircuit which will compensate by continuously recollimating the output. Okay, the atmosphere will scatter a phaser beam, fair enough. I fail to see how a new circuit can make a phaser focus MORE. GOSHEVEN: I really was willing to stay here and die for this. DATA: I know that. This is just a thing, and things can be replaced. Lives cannot. Exactly. Another good moral. PICARD: That's it. TROI: I don't follow you, sir. PICARD: Mister Worf, get me the Sheliak. Quoting the whole thing would get too long, let's just throw up a YouTube clip. ARD'RIAN: I guess what I really want to know is, do you have any feelings for me? DATA: I have no feelings of any kind. ARD'RIAN: No, of course you don't. You know, while the installation of the emotion chip in Generations created some good scenes, I do wish that Data could have evolved them himself. Slowly of course, making mistakes in interpretation and so forth. Because scenes like this are heartbreaking. Nitpicker's Guide * Phil asks why the Universal Translator can't be used. Of course, a similar question could be presented: why does this translation barrier have to exist? Isn't it sufficient that the Sheliak have a different worldview and excessively bureaucratic mentality? * If the Sheliak are so far that establishing contact takes time, how can they have real-time communication?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#117
|
||||
|
||||
October 9th, 1989, "The Survivors"
Fiver (by Kira) Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode DATA: Captain, we are not receiving Rana Four's call sign. RIKER: Open a frequency to Colony Operations. DATA: No response. Rana Four is emissions quiet. It's always perplexing when the shows act like you can only establish communications with a planet when you're in orbit. Given a little prep time the Enterprise can open a comm channel with Earth even when the entire Federation separates them! Surely the bit about no communications could be included with the Captain's Log as being something they've already tried. RIKER: Helm, put us in high equatorial orbit. Scan for survivors. CRUSHER: Survivors? Down there? DATA: Sensors are scanning ninety degrees of longitude as we orbit. It's irritating when sometimes the entire planet can be scanned at once and other times you need line of sight. Furthermore, this kind of precision isn't necessary, especially when it invites the nitpickers to have a field day. Data's line doesn't even have to be changed, just cut completely! DATA: That is highly unlikely. Rana Four possessed no interstellar spacecraft. Not one? Okay, it wouldn't be practical to keep a starship in orbit all the time, but surely one warp-capable shuttle could be maintained just in case! Not enough for an evacuation, of course, but still... WORF: Two life forms, possibly human. Kevin Uxbridge didn't know the Enterprise was here, why would he bother manufacturing two sets of human lifesigns? TROI: What I sense of them is human. PICARD: And something else? TROI: It's difficult to explain. I feel there's something different about these two people. I'm sorry. I can't be clearer than that. So Kevin camouflaged his telepathic output as human AND created an illusion of his wife that also outputs human telepathic signals? WORF: There is a weapon, a low-yield phaser, nonfunctional... I wonder what's meant by a "low-yield phaser". Only capable of stunning, a smaller battery than Starfleet issue, what? PICARD: Are they collaborators? Did they provide the colony's assailants with something that abetted the total destruction of Rana Four in order to protect their own lives? I doubt even the Borg could do such surgical destruction, even if they were inclined to. Picard's theory just seems odd. RIKER: There's a fusion reactor in the house, good for another five years of power. But their water table is tainted. They have nothing to feed themselves except for a small garden. Let's put aside the fact that a vegetarian diet only works if you have a larger, more varied garden than what they have. It's implied that they have no replicator, so what do they need a fusion reactor for? Wouldn't the colony have a power grid that's now nonexistent? PICARD: I remember a Starfleet admiral once saying the same thing about some renegade Andorians in the Triangulum system. It turns out that they had dismantled their ship and hidden it. I'll just say I'm dubious of the plausibility of this and move on.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#118
|
||||
|
||||
TROI: I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. I'm just tired, that's all.
Why would Troi hide this? What did the attempt achieve? PICARD: Now where did that come from? RIKER: Apparently it was riding a Lagrange point, hiding behind Rana Four's furthest moon. A Lagrange point is a point where a third object can maintain position relative to two other objects (sun/planet, planet/moon). The only Lagrange point where a ship could hide is the L2 point. Too bad this is ludicrous, as subspace sensors shouldn't care one bit about the gravitational fields of the system. Couldn't they say the ship was using an unknown form of cloaking device? RIKER: But that's our boy. Approximately five times our mass and carrying enough armament to pulverize a planet. Not that you care, but the E-D has a mass of almost five million metric tons. The Earth has a mass of 6(10^21) metric tons. If we say that the invading ship is 20 million metric tons of antimatter and 5 million metric tons of matter (i.e. the ship itself), you're still only talking enough antimatter to obliterate less than a TRILLIONTH of the planet. I hardly call that "pulverizing". Heaven forbid Riker just say enough armament to render the surface uninhabitable! DATA: They have received the message, Captain, but are ignoring it. If this sucker's an illusion, did Kevin send back an acknowledging signal for the Enterprise? How would he know how to do that? WORF: The vessel is firing jacketed streams of positrons and antiprotons. Equivalent firepower, forty megawatts. Wouldn't "antimatter stream" be sufficient? I'd do the math on the 40 megawatts, but this stuff is boring even me. No more Doing The Math for this entry, just keep in mind that I could and it would always be inaccurate. WESLEY: Aye, sir. The vessel has reached warp two and continues on a steady acceleration curve. We're not getting any closer, Commander. RIKER: Give us a superior curve, Mister Crusher. WESLEY: Warp three. Warp four. The warship continues to match our curve simultaneously point for point. Finally, reasonable technobabble! RISHON: Kevin and I first saw each other on a ship at sea. He was a starving student with this threadbare suit and mismatched shoes. This IS the post-scarcity Federation, right? No poor people? Nobody ever starves? RISHON: Well, what do you think, Mister Worf? WORF: Good tea. Nice house. Classic line.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#119
|
||||
|
||||
WORF: Evasive action, sir?
PICARD: The Enterprise will hold its position, Mister Worf. WORF: Weapons, sir? PICARD: On my orders, not before. It's more dramatic if Picard keeps his conclusion to himself, but in reality he'd inform the staff of his plan. LAFORGE: He's in the turbolift. Kevin can teleport, but needs to use the turbolift? KEVIN: No, no, no, no. You don't understand the scope of my crime. I didn't kill just one Husnock, or a hundred, or a thousand. I killed them all. All Husnock everywhere. Are eleven thousand people worth fifty billion? Is the love of a woman worth the destruction of an entire species? This is the sin I tried so hard to keep you from learning now. Why I wanted to chase you from Rana. PICARD: We're not qualified to be your judges. We have no law to fit your crime. I do wonder how Kirk would've reacted to this plot. The Fiver Picard: Now what are we going to do for an hour? Wesley: Don't worry. I bet we'll find some people who are still alive. Picard: Really? Oh, right -- the title. Metahumor, you gotta love it. Picard: Oh, goody. Here comes that ship again! Let's do nothing. Riker: But Captain -- Picard: Shut up, Riker. I have my reasons. Data: The house has been destroyed. Picard: Good. That'll teach them to talk that way about my Earl Grey tea. Definitely an execution-worthy crime. Kevin: By day, I'm a mild-mannered reporter, but by night I'm an intergalactic super alien. Crusher: Oh, that's original. How is Kevin like Superman? Nitpicker's Guide * If Kevin's mind can reach through the universe, how can he be surprised when people beam down?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#120
|
||||
|
||||
October 16th, 1989, "Who Watches the Watchers"
Fiver (by Marc) Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode LAFORGE: We've finished replicating the parts they'll need, but what I don't understand is why a three man station would need a reactor capable of producing four point two gigawatts. RIKER: Enough to power a small phaser bank, a subspace relay station, or LAFORGE: A hologram generator. Oh, a duck blind. Right. They're anthropologists. I despise exposition that depends on these people not doing their jobs. The report that says what parts they need should either include the duckblind part or be linked to a report of the general mission, and THAT would include the duckblind part. It would've been better if Geordi could just say that the holographic emitter used for the duckblind is much larger than the onboard holodecks (for example, you'd need the entire projection to be "solid", not just for the native's benefit but to keep the rain out and streaming down it in a realistic way). TROI: According to Doctor Barron's preliminary reports, the Mintakans are proto-Vulcan humanoids at the Bronze Age level. I'd rather they use "Vulcanoid" instead of "proto-Vulcan." Or at least "resemble Vulcans as they were X thousand years ago." DATA: Captain, if we increase to warp seven we can be there in twenty three minutes. PICARD: Make it so. We're on our way. (They see a big explosion on the screen. One man escapes through the now-exposed observation window on to the planet surface proper) WORF: We've lost contact, sir. PICARD: Increase to warp nine. Warp 7 is 656 times the speed of light, Warp 9 is 1516 times the speed of light. 23 minutes at Warp 7 is 10 minutes to Mintaka. LAFORGE: The framework's still charged, so watch it. I'd think an engineer's toolkit would have a tool to negate this charge for safety's sake. Couldn't Geordi say that due to the damaged generator it'll take a bit longer to charge up the holographic generator. Then Liko could still get shocked. CRUSHER: (to nurse) You increased the levels of tricordrazine? I wonder how much safer tricordrazine is compared to ordinary cordrazine... CRUSHER: Before you start quoting me the Prime Directive, he'd already seen us. The damage was done. It was either bring him aboard or let him die. PICARD: Then why didn't you let him die? CRUSHER: Because we were responsible for his injuries. PICARD: I'm not sure that I concur with that reasoning, Doctor. The Prime Directive says that Starfleet officers must let themselves die before revealing themselves. I doubt there's a clause that says "if a pre-warp person sees you, kill them before they can contaminate their culture with this knowledge." CRUSHER: By erasing short term recall? PICARD: It has been accomplished before. CRUSHER: I am familiar with Doctor Pulaski's technique. Was Pulaski really the first doctor to do this procedure?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
|
|