Group Adaptive Story - Like the onebyone story, only stranger.

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Jake, fresh from his orb experience, propped up his typewriter between his knees and began to type. He knew he had to work fast, because the situation around him was rapidly dissolving into chaos-dissolved-in-hydrochloric acid. While most of the characters were having a raving party to the sounds of the Velvet Underground, 17 was chasing Opium around with a pointy stick for marrying her off to Quark Snyder.

Jake put a bun between his teeth and chewed. How should he start? Ah, yes, the classic.

[iost_uid0]It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, an attorney appeared on the horizon....[/iost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Then, the sun disappeared behind thick dark clouds. It began to rain heavily and the wind was so strong, everybody had to tie themselves to trees not to be blown away.
Jake, who was not affected by the story and just sat there, typing, saw a small man in a black suit at the horizon.
He smiled. "It's working," he cheered, and typed on.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Jake went on:
The rain died down a bit, so people could release themselves from the trees. The lawyer in the suit came up to talk to Jake. "Jake, I believe that you were kidnapped. Your life has been taken away so can write a story that you are in, so that the Convergence Show can work, so sci-fi can make a comeback. I can help you. I can get your life back." Sloane then ran in into the picnic area. "No, that's Jack McCoy from Law and Order" yelled Sloane, "He's trying to..." Jake interupted. "I brought him the story, to bring interest, and to sue your butt off". The story continued. Sloane was hit by lighting. The Lawyer said, " Sloane, I am going to sue you, but after that, I am going to sue Jake for writing you getting struck by lighting."[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"But he was ennoying" Jake argued. "That's no excuse" answered McCoy. "Oh, never mind" mumbled Jake, "I'll make you forget when this is over." "What was that?"
At that moment, a shuttle came into view, and landed on the surface. "Who is that?" Quark Snyder asked. "I don't know" said Jake, "I didn't write that."[/colorost_uid0]

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Damn," said Crighton, stepping from the shuttle. "Why is it wormholes are so badly signposted? I keep getting lost."
"Hah. You don't need to tell [iost_uid0]me[/iost_uid0] that," said Sisko.
"The Convergence seems to be getting worse," commented the Doctor. "All we need now is the Battlestar [iost_uid0]Galactica[/iost_uid0] to show up and we'd practically have the entre set."
"You know, it's funny you should say that...." said the Smoking Man, pointing to the sky. Everyone looked up just in time to see the [iost_uid0]Galactica[/iost_uid0] hove into view in orbit above them.
"Great!" yealled PHJ who had appeared from inside the TARDIS. "And they've brought the Cylons with them! This just get better and better!"
"You know, the fact that it's AU Week might have something to do with this" hypothesised MirrorKira.
"I haven't been typing any of this either!" said Jake. "What's going on?"[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"I'm sorry Jake" said Opium, "it's these other, non-poppyseed loving forumgoers. But here, my friend LongForgotten is offering cookies. You are her favorite DS9, and now The Convergence character, since you write and stuff." Longforgotten gave some special cookies to Jake, some "grassy" cookies that made him veeeeeeerrrrrrrrryyyyy happy. He started to write with his eyes closed, as he now could override the forumgoers:
The Convergence could see the light and purple elephants and the pink zebras. Q and LF started to date. Crusher and Picard got married. Ezri and Bashir made out, and LF objected and yelled, "Ezri, you whine too much!" Ezri gave LF a councilling session, and LF started to not mind Ezri, and even gave her some lipbalm so Ezri could kiss Bashir more. LF went and left everyone alone so we could get on with the story.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Jake was getting bored of having no forumgoers helping him write. "Please help me" he said.[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"So [iost_uid0]you[/iost_uid0] call yourself a writer?" said Catalina as she stepped from behind a tree, "Wat kind of writer are you if you can't write without help?"
"I... just have... no inspriration right now. Yes. But the story must go on, so please help me."
"Alright then. I'll give you... a vision."[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Your story is too perky and happy. You've got to write some tragedy into it. You've got to write some [iost_uid0]death[/iost_uid0]."

"Er, right," said Jake hesitantly. "I'll keep that in mind."

"You know," said Crichton, "I don't see how that's going to help us get out of this story."

"Well," 17 pointed out reasonably, "if you're dead you wouldn't be in the story any more, would you? Besides, it makes a better read."

The forumgoers smiled at Jake. He sighed, and set his hands down on the typewriter again...[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Jake just sat there staring at the blank page in his typewriter. "Uh oh, I think I have writer's block," said Jake. NeoMatrix came by and said, "You need a hero and a villain, plus someone who needs to be rescued. Think of a good plot and setting, then the story will fall into place." "Thanks alot," said Jake cheerfully.[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Thanks alot" he repeated, more sarcastically this time. "Allright then, how shall I call the hero?"
"Call him Julian!" Bashir interupted his line of thoughts.
"Riiiiight..." Jake answered, "I thought it had to be a [iost_uid0]little[/iost_uid0] realistic."
"Then call the one who needs to be rescued Ezri, and the bad guy Sloan." Bashir continued.
"Hey!" Obviously, Sloan did not agree.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Well, *I* am the writer here," Jake pointed out, "so I get to decide who is the good guy, who is the bad guy, and most importantly, who gets to die. Catalina said I had to write more death into my story." He flexed his fingers. "Right then, that part should be easy enough, and I'll start with it." His fingers started flying over the typewriter keyboard.

Suddenly a large marble pillar appeared out of nowhere and fell on Crichton's head.

"Oh my god," exclaimed Sloane, "you killed John, you bas--"

Another large marble pillar appeared out of nowhere and fell on Sloane's head.

Jake grinned. "This could get fun." He continued typing.

A white horse burst forth onto the scene. It's rider, an extremely tall, thin fellow, disembarked.

ER, he said. THERE SEEMS TO BE A PROBLEM.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Hi, I'm Legolas" said Legolas. Jake explained: "Opium thinks Legolas is hot, and Julian's ego is too big...we needed something to tone it down with hotness". Bashir launched himself at Legolas. Legolas gave him a big hug. Then, slowly, he bent down, and looked at John and Sloane. "I can save these two. I need a powerful witch or two" Tara and Willow both raised their hands. "Good" said Legolas.*Jake wasnt really interested in the whole magic thing,or Legolas, but he liked the "magic=sex theme" from BTVS* Tara and Willow began the spell, and Legolas helped. The all started to get hot and chant. Willow got all black-eyed and scary, and *somehow* Quark Snyder got a million zits, but then Legolas got up. "The spell has worked." he said. Xander interupted, "Something bad always happens after an anti-death spell" "Another problem?" said Bashir[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Problems are good," said Jake, "It makes the story interesting."
"But this might be a problem you can't handle," Bashir answered.
"I'm the DM, I can handle anything." Jake said.
A silence followed, in which all looked at Catalina.
"Sorry," said Catalina, "I'm playing d&d, and I just couldn't restist."[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Jake sighed. Everytime he got a story under control, it always seemed to take a life of it's own and start running away as if the Legions of Death were on it's tail (metaphorically speaking, that is).

"Why does this [iost_uid0]always[/iost_uid0] happen to me?" he howled, as a bright flash enveloped them for no reason other than someone other than Jake wanted it to happen.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"You are the Sisko Kid" said Prophet Anya, "And you must marry Anya by sundown"
"You are the Sisko Kid" said Prophet Ezri, "You are the new sheriff. You write Blazing Sadles in the sun."
"You are the Sisko Kid" said Prophet Quark Snyder, "You must learn everything by tomorow morning, or you will lose the capital earnings potential on you project".
Jake was confused, "So now I am bringing in a 20th century Mel Brooks comedy? Why?"
"The Sisko Kid talks too much" said Prophet Picard. Jake was back in the Convergence. Legolas rushed to his side. "Jake, you are the chosen one, but I'm still prettiest." Xander built a movie screen, and everyone watched Blazing Sadles. Jake knew what he must do. The prophets were nuts.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Therefore," he proclaimed happily, "I must restore order by erasing everything that has occurred in this story so far and start anew!"

"And just how are you going to do that?" asked Ezri.

"Er.... well." Jake was stumped. "I haven't thought of [iost_uid0]that[/iost_uid0] bit yet..."[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Well, the simple way was to burn everything. And that is what was done. Everyone was happy. They all went outside to play. They had a great time.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Jake was sad. His story was going out of control. "Again, you are LEAVING ME! Well, NO MORE!" he said. So he got the Nerd Trio from Buffy to help him.
"Sorry, but I'm out of the game. Xander reformed me. I love his...carpentry" said Andrew.
"Hey, I was just in it because it was something to do until I got into Oxford.Bye now" said Jonathan, and he left.
"I'm in. I'm evil. I'm the big evil powerful superman" said Warren, "I can fight any problem. I can *Willow and Tara come in holding hands* HEY, I KNOW you just are waiting for me, because... OWOWOW" Everyone had gotten bored of Warren, and carried him out while hitting him with frisbees. Odo put him in jail. Jake was mildly entertained.[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]*end of commercial break*
Hmmm, where did everyone go? Looks like everyone went on vacation. Well, they deserve it. Writing a story is no easy task. So who was left in charge in case a emergency came up? Oh no, looks like we are doomed? They left Janeway in charge.[/colorost_uid0]