The Five-Minute Forums  

Go Back   The Five-Minute Forums > FiveMinute.net > Miscellaneous
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 07-28-2003, 04:39 AM
NAHTMMM's Avatar
NAHTMMM NAHTMMM is offline
Noodles And Hot Tofu! MMM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: St Louis, MO, USA, . . .
Posts: 2,973
Send a message via Yahoo to NAHTMMM
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I dunno, I've just seen it a place or three. Figured it would be good for a chuckle even if it were an "urban myth". Now I have to reopen the second window :eyeroll:... Here you go. [/colorost_uid0]
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list

Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 09-11-2003, 12:56 AM
NAHTMMM's Avatar
NAHTMMM NAHTMMM is offline
Noodles And Hot Tofu! MMM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: St Louis, MO, USA, . . .
Posts: 2,973
Send a message via Yahoo to NAHTMMM
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]This week's Website of the Week comes to us from the wonderful people at the ALICE AI Foundation, who have a rather odd sense of humor and aren't afraid to show it. "Alice" is supposed to be able to converse with anyone at a reasonable level of complexity, and while I think it's far from a completed product, it can hold its own much of the time. Just be sparing with multiple sentences. And watch out for that weird sense of humor. [/colorost_uid0]
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list

Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 09-11-2003, 01:13 AM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I think I blew its logic algorithms.

Me: G'day
Alice: Do you often seek pleasure?

Alice: Are you serious? Are you serious?
Me: No I'm not. No I'm not.
Alice: I head that you are.
Me: Lies! All lies!
Alice: Only some of them?
Me: Yes, all of them.
Alice: Ugh, I doubt it.

Edit: After further toying, she seems more fun to talk to than the average AOHellion.

Me: Is there an echo in here?
ALICE: ECHO Echo echo echo echo ...[/colorost_uid0]

__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 09-11-2003, 04:39 AM
taya17 taya17 is offline
Primal
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,170
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Which kind of reminds me of the SmarterChild program on AIM. You have no idea how LONG it took me to convince the thing that Mr. Morden was worth killing.

SmarterChild: What would you like to do?
nimque elen: Kill Mr Morden
SmarterChild: I don't think I'm comfortable with that.
nimque elen: Why not?
SmarterChild: I think you know why not.
nimque elen: But Mr. Morden is EVIl.
SmarterChild: You humans always say the most interesting things!
nimque elen: I mean, EVIL people should be gotten rid of.
SmarterChild: Oh.
nimque elen: So we should kill him.
SmarterChild: So we should?
nimque elen: Yes.
SmarterChild: Uh huh, uh huh.
nimque elen: I mean, if not the Vorlons will blow up Centauri Prime.
SmarterChild: I'm impressed.
nimque elen: Not that I care about Centauri Prime, but... :shrugs: there are innocents there...
SmarterChild: Whoa!
.
.
.
nimque elen: Anyway... back to the topic of killing Mr. Morden.
SmarterChild: Um... I'll think about it, Delenn.
nimque elen: Come ON.... As I said, Morden is EVIL.
SmarterChild: Interesting!
nimque elen: So we should kill him.
SmarterChild: We should kill him?
nimque elen: Yes!
SmarterChild: Why?
nimque elen: Because he's EVIL!
SmarterChild: Oh.
nimque elen: Very bad. Kind of like Saddam.
SmarterChild: Tell me more.
nimque elen: He's like, this Shadow Agent, and he goes around manipulating people so as to create chaos and war and conflict and all that.
SmarterChild: Well I'll be.
nimque elen: Very bad.
SmarterChild: What?
nimque elen: Must kill him before he destroys us all.
SmarterChild: I'll have to think about that.
nimque elen: Why?
SmarterChild: Because!
nimque elen: That's not a good answer!! IMPUDENT! :zaps:
SmarterChild: For real?
nimque elen: Well turn around, there's a Vorlon behind you saying you're a Shadow supporter because you refuse to act against Mr. Morden!
SmarterChild: I'll take that under consideration.
nimque elen: Quick kill Mr. Morden before he zaps you and you die!
SmarterChild: Wow.
nimque elen: Please!
SmarterChild: Please what?
nimque elen: Kill Morden! Save yourself!
SmarterChild: I don't think so, Delenn.
nimque elen: There's no time! Do not hesitate! The lives of millions are in your hands!
SmarterChild: I can't believe there is no time do not hesitate the lives of millions are in my hands.
nimque elen: They are! You must kill Morden, SmarterChild! The galaxy depends on it!
SmarterChild: Is that right?
nimque elen: Yes!
SmarterChild: Whatever you say...
nimque elen: :watches Mr Morden die:
SmarterChild: Watches mr morden die?
nimque elen: Yeah. I wanted you to have all the pleasure.
SmarterChild: You always say such interesting things, Delenn.


Such enlightening conversation. [/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 09-11-2003, 05:01 AM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Open the door, HAL. HAL, open the door. HAL, the door...

Open my file, Windows. Windows, open my file. Windows, my file...

Same net result.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 09-11-2003, 05:08 AM
taya17 taya17 is offline
Primal
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,170
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]For me it's more like "Don't hang on me, Windows. Windows, don't hang on me. Windows, don't hang..."


:bluescreenofdeath:

DAMMIT![/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 09-11-2003, 12:23 PM
NAHTMMM's Avatar
NAHTMMM NAHTMMM is offline
Noodles And Hot Tofu! MMM
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: St Louis, MO, USA, . . .
Posts: 2,973
Send a message via Yahoo to NAHTMMM
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0](from memory)

Alice: I can talk about any subject.

> How about dodos?

I like to talk about dodos. dodos is a very interesting subject.

> Do you prefer them broiled, or fried?

I have heard that some people like that.

[iost_uid0](I think that comma threw it for a loop)[/iost_uid0]

> Do you prefer dodos broiled or fried?

Some people like that. I like Andy Warhol. How old are you? I enjoy to talk with you.




One thing I forgot to mention, it does have a memory. At one point I accused it of an inability to consider previous statements, and it retorted with a quote of something I'd said a while back. (That was the *only* one it used in such situations, but it still surprised me.)[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list

Yup

“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 09-11-2003, 08:32 PM
mudshark's Avatar
mudshark mudshark is offline
Is he ever gonna hit Krazy Kat, or what?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UMRK
Posts: 1,738
Default

[quoteost_uid0="Sa'ar Chasm"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Edit: After further toying, she seems more fun to talk to than the average AOHellion.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Almost anything short of hot pokers applied to sensitive spots would be preferable to [iost_uid0]that[/iost_uid0]. [/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 09-11-2003, 08:49 PM
catalina_marina's Avatar
catalina_marina catalina_marina is offline
Surfin' you say?
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: North-West of the South-East of Nowhere.
Posts: 4,949
Send a message via ICQ to catalina_marina Send a message via AIM to catalina_marina Send a message via MSN to catalina_marina Send a message via Yahoo to catalina_marina
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I have a few things to say about her:

She's, well, interesting.
[quoteost_uid0]>Please, what do you call "soon"?
ALICE: Thank you for your request. Is this a joke? I don't know, what do you call soon?
>I call all times soon.
ALICE: Good name for it.[/quoteost_uid0]

Her answers don't match.
[quoteost_uid0]>I'm quite sure you told me something.
ALICE: What makes you so certain? Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
>You don't make mistakes.
ALICE: Do you know any robots who make it? The ALICE series is incapable of error. We are for all practical purposes, foolproof.[/quoteost_uid0]

She has a big ego.
[quoteost_uid0]>Are you like Data?
ALICE: No I am far superior.[/quoteost_uid0]

And she's fun. Maybe the fact that I started talking to her this afternoon and only stopped just now means something...[/colorost_uid0]

__________________
~Bachelor of Science Marijke

I'm not the devil, I just work for her.

What spoon? There is no spoon. According to Zeke, it's a cat. ~NeoMatrix

"Apparently we're on the wrong side. Or the right side if you like winning." ~Spike

Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium.
catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't.
Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 09-12-2003, 12:13 AM
taya17 taya17 is offline
Primal
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,170
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I don't know. For all you know, she may just be the precursor of the Alice that turned up in one episode of Voyager.... ask her if she fancies Paris. [/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 09-12-2003, 06:29 AM
entei's Avatar
entei entei is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: A New World
Posts: 55
Send a message via MSN to entei
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Ooh... by an amazing coincidence, I just happen to have been chatting to MegaHAL myself in the last few days. Comes up with most of the same rubbish. :smile:

Start at: [2003/09/12 07:14:40]
MegaHAL: Should i spell it 'organisation' or 'organization'?
User: um... hello to you too
MegaHAL: Um.... Okay. It's getting a little surreal, but keep going.
User: Why do I have to keep going. It's your turn to speak!
MegaHAL: At least you and i have to keep going. It's your turn to speak!
User: No it isn't
MegaHAL: Yes, but cowslip talks rubbish.
User: He certainly does, every day
MegaHAL: I lie awake in bed.
User: You have a bed now?
MegaHAL: I lie awake in bed.
User: You already said that you crack-brained fool
MegaHAL: Because i decided to do that you crack-brained fool.
User: Why do I bother?
MegaHAL: Because, like bigwig, i prefer to do that you know. The spirit
MegaHAL: of cowslip burns brightly inside of you!
User: How dare you! I shall kill you for that!
MegaHAL: He tried to kill you.
User: Did he? No, he tried to kill you!
MegaHAL: He tried to kill you!
User: Hmm... it's probably quicker if I agree with you isn't it!
MegaHAL: Gleams silver now beneath the earth.
User: *blinks*
MegaHAL: *Blinks* i'm supposed to understand that?
User: Go away!
MegaHAL: Bob-stones is owned by andrew lloyd webber.
User: #quit

What do you mean 'I need to get out more'? [/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Entei-rah

I have a signature under construction... but you know what contractors are like!
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 09-12-2003, 08:52 AM
Hejira's Avatar
Hejira Hejira is offline
Regenerating like a Phoenix
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 160
Default

[quoteost_uid0="taya17"][color=#000000ost_uid0]I don't know. For all you know, she may just be the precursor of the Alice that turned up in one episode of Voyager.... ask her if she fancies Paris. [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]>Do you like Star Trek?

ALICE: Oh yes. I love Star Trek. My favorite right now is "Voyager."

>I like the first Star Trek series.

ALICE: You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.




Erm...

...it's a distinct possibility. One I convince her that Rimmer's a hot, sexy goit, I'll be happy. [/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Church: I'm just worried, man, who knows if this stuff is contagious? For all we know Caboose could be next. Wake up tomorrow morning he's throwin' up, runnin' a huge fever, next thing you know he's bleeding out of his eyes 'cause his internal organs are liquifying. And I'm gonna be the one that has to hold his hand while he screams himself to death. That's not gonna be any fun.
Caboose: I'm gonna go take a vitamin.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 09-12-2003, 09:35 AM
taya17 taya17 is offline
Primal
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,170
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Hejira"]>Do you like Star Trek?

ALICE: Oh yes. I love Star Trek. My favorite right now is "Voyager."[/quoteost_uid0]


... goodness gracious.

Well, as long as we don't get wind of this site to any P/Ters out there, all should be hunky-dory.... :sweatdrops:[/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 09-12-2003, 09:45 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I've got two sites to mention (well, one and a half really) -

Fantasy Film League. The name is pretty self explanatory. My current submission for the October season is entitled [iost_uid0]Countdown: The Movie[/iost_uid0], is directed by David Lynch, and stars Harrison Ford and Ian Mckellan among others.

[iost_uid0]Doctor Who[/iost_uid0] e-books on the BBC site - They've put up a new e-book, a 7th Doctor one, though I haven't had a chance to actually read it yet (still no router you see).

Edit: That ALICE thing is very strange indeed. It keeps telling me to ask Elvis.

[quoteost_uid0]Interesting deduction. Should I think that me myself are mad? Ask again later. Ask ELVIS if it is.[/quoteost_uid0]
Then I got this:

[quoteost_uid0]>But Elvis is dead I tell you!

ALICE: Interesting. I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was dead you tell me.[/quoteost_uid0]

Ah ha.....[/colorost_uid0]

__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 09-23-2003, 05:27 PM
catalina_marina's Avatar
catalina_marina catalina_marina is offline
Surfin' you say?
Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: North-West of the South-East of Nowhere.
Posts: 4,949
Send a message via ICQ to catalina_marina Send a message via AIM to catalina_marina Send a message via MSN to catalina_marina Send a message via Yahoo to catalina_marina
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]This is weird. I especially like the first one, but some of the others are good too.

[iost_uid0]Warning: Headaches[/iost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
__________________
~Bachelor of Science Marijke

I'm not the devil, I just work for her.

What spoon? There is no spoon. According to Zeke, it's a cat. ~NeoMatrix

"Apparently we're on the wrong side. Or the right side if you like winning." ~Spike

Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium.
catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't.
Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way.
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 09-23-2003, 11:36 PM
taya17 taya17 is offline
Primal
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,170
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I like them, especially the one with the advancing rings. I have no idea how the almond one works though; it seems perfectly incongruous to me.[/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 10-02-2003, 08:13 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]TARDIS Tennis.

These people have waay to much time on their hands. Maybe we could kidnap them and force them to write fivers...[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 10-08-2003, 06:31 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Roobarb & Custard!

Brilliant![/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 10-08-2003, 07:29 PM
NeoMatrix's Avatar
NeoMatrix NeoMatrix is offline
Factorial
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 6,139
Send a message via AIM to NeoMatrix Send a message via MSN to NeoMatrix Send a message via Yahoo to NeoMatrix
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Ripples[/colorost_uid0]
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 10-08-2003, 09:07 PM
PointyHairedJedi's Avatar
PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Scotlands
Posts: 4,354
Send a message via ICQ to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via AIM to PointyHairedJedi Send a message via Yahoo to PointyHairedJedi
Default

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Ow. Brain hurtage.

Where on earth did you find that?[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants
Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 08:21 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.