Block 23 - I believe I can bring him back

[Zeke]

(Hey, the phpBB doesn't have proper thread subtitles! I'll have to look into that.)

Hey FBCers. I'm really, really sorry to have let this forum stagnate for so long. I've had a busy summer and a busier fall, but it's really not that hard to post these threads, so I shouldn't have let it stop me.

Regardless, I'm back, and this time it's to finish the damn thing. Since the "three days per thread" idea didn't work, I'm switching to the other plan I've been considering -- having multiple threads active at once. I'm going to start with 23, 24, and 25, and each time we finish one, I'll start the next one. I'm confident that this will finally increase the pace of FBC to something workable. So get ready: it's all downhill from here.

*

Morpheus is now being held in a high office building under guard. Agent Smith is clearly loving his victory; he's hamming it up, speechifying to Morpheus about the origins of the Matrix and the new role of humans. As he talks, Agent Brown (the one played by Paul Goddard! Woo!) is working on cracking Morpheus' mental patterns with injections, electrodes, and such. Agent Jones comes in to notify the others that "the insider" -- Cypher -- has failed. (Why does he have to come tell them in person? They're computer programs with mental linkups -- when one knows, shouldn't the others know? They even finish each other's sentences! In this scene! Ah well.) Smith, realizing that the surviving rebels can unhook Morpheus at any time, deploys Sentinels to their location.

Back on the Nebuchadnezzar, Tank shows the others what the Agents are doing to Morpheus' mind. He concludes that their only choice is to unhook Morpheus before he can give up the access codes to Zion, the last refuge of free humanity. Trinity reluctantly agrees, but just before they can go through with it, Neo stops them. He recognizes this as the moment the Oracle foretold, when he would have to choose between his life and Morpheus'. He tells them Morpheus was wrong to sacrifice himself for him, because he's not the One -- but he believes he can bring Morpheus back. Trinity demands to go with him.

Synopsis is here. This is surely a two-scene block.

[NAHTMMM]

Woohoo!


Here we go:

Morpheus: This is where I logic you into self-destructing, right?
Agent Brown: Nope. Now get assimilated already.

Trinity: Waah, Morpheus is a goner!
Tank: This is terrible news!
Neo: Ooo, I call dibs on the red M&M's! ...Um, I mean--
Trinity: Just for that, you're coming with me to rescue Morpheus.
Neo: Oops.

Agent Smith: You humans are seriously sick in the head. We present you with the perfect civilization and what do you do? You go nuts. So we figure, hey, you want war, cancer, political parties, we'll let you have them. Serves you ingrates right. I mean, it's not like you jerks actually *appreciate* our selfless efforts to help you or anything...
Morpheus: Awww. There there, go ahead and cry. It'll do you a world of good.
Agent Smith: *sob*

[Zeke]

Heheheh. I like those, Nah.

[NeoMatrix]

Agent Smith: We are Borg, Humans suck
Morpheus: Can I have some coffee?
Agent Smith: No
Morpheus: Fine, Neo will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
Agent Smith: Ha! I will clone myself just so I can see the day

or

Agent Smith: Give me the codes to Zion
Morpheus: These aren't the codes you are looking for
Agent Smiht: These aren't the codes..HEY!
Morpheus: HA! Morpheus 1 Agent Smith 0

Tank: Morpheus will not be able to use the Force for long
Trinity: Pull the plug, we must
Neo: NO! I will go in and save him
Trinity: Silly, you are. Me, go too, yes I will
(Optional) Neo: Fine, but next time I get to be Yoda

[Gatac]

Smith: ...so, in conclusion, Humanity sucks.
Morpheus: That's not a very compelling argument.
Smith: Then I will need to speechify some more.
Morpheus: NOOO!

Tank: Well, so much for great leader Nr. 47. Help me carry him to the trash compactor, will you?
Neo: No! We mustn't let him die!
Trinity: Why?
Neo: Because I...love him!
Trinity: ...
Neo: In a purely platonic sense!
Trinity: I'll come with you if you just shut up right now.

Smith: Humanity is doomed. Like the Hindenburg, or that last Enterprise season.
Morpheus: My sources tell me this place is about to go boom.
Smith: Oh, the humanity!

Gatac

[Karen's Ziti]

Agent Smith: Did you know the first Matrix wasn’t a virtual reality simulation at all? We just set up a bunch of PCs with “Everquest” and plopped the humans in front. Most of them kind of noticed when we tried to jam a probe into the back of their heads. Most of them.
Morpheus: Gurrk. Darrrgh. Argh.
Agent Smith: Don’t talk about my mother that way!

Or

Agent Smith: This is the absolute pinnacle of human society you see before you. This is the absolute ultimate version of the Matrix. *cough* Seventimesover *cough*
Morpheus: What was that?
Agent Smith: Nothing. Increase the Evil Drugs of Truth dosage.
Morpheus: Oh My! What does that do?

[Xeroc]

Agent Smith: And reason #532 why programs kick ass on humans...
Agent Brown: Maybe the password is "morpheus", nope, "12345", nope, "pie", nope, dang - out of ideas.
Agent Jones: Cypher failed.
Agent Smith: No Earpiece-messaging?
Agent Jones: I keep running out of minutes.

Tank: So, you see, if you take the derivative of this alpha-wave here, then you can clearly see the inverse transduction in place on morpheus's cranium.
Neo: English?
Tank: They're hacking his mind.
Neo: For this, I must consult the Oracle's advice. (Takes out a fortune cookie and reads it) I must go into the Matrix to save Morpheus!
Trinity: That says "Your Lucky Lotto Numbers: 3 8 12 35 47 56"

[Rayinne]

Smith: And reason #68 why we are superior - Agent Brown's going to read the codes right out of your head.
Morpheus: So, what are you picking up?
Brown: Something about Smith turning into a Cthulian fiend and accosting Neo.
Morpheus: Hah! Morpheus 1, Agents 0.
Smith: Wait, we've lost Jones's signal.
[Jones enters]
Jones: No, not fries with that, Cypher GAKked!
Smith: I knew we should have gone with a name brand collective.

Tank: We're screwed. Any minute now, the Agents are going to break out the red M&Ms.
Trinity: There's no choice. We've got to pull the plug.
Neo: Wait, go back to the part about the M&Ms. If I were to save him, would he let me have some?

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Neo: (something about rescuing Morpheus)
Trinity: But what if you get trapped as well?
Neo: I have a wireless connection to the Matrix. I can get out anytime someone uses the microwave.

[NeoMatrix]

Tank: We need to pull the plug on Morpheus, or else Zion will be in danger.
Neo: We could always go rescue him.
Tank: Who and what army?
Neo: I will be The One that will go in and rescue him.
Trinity: I don't think so. I love you too much to let you go alone.
Neo: Aww man, I wanted to have all the fun.
Trinity: Well, someone needs to go watch you have fun.

[Rayinne]

I like NAH's second Morpheus block. Maybe it should be shortened a bit, but that would be my choice. I have a selfish preference for my "name-brand collective" line, but it doesn't mesh with that block at all.

As for the Tank/Neo/Trinity scene, nothing jumps out at me yet.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Out of this lot, I like NeoMatrix's block the best -

Agent Smith: Give me the codes to Zion
Morpheus: These aren't the codes you are looking for
Agent Smiht: These aren't the codes..HEY!
Morpheus: HA! Morpheus 1 Agent Smith 0

Tank: Morpheus will not be able to use the Force for long
Trinity: Pull the plug, we must
Neo: NO! I will go in and save him
Trinity: Silly, you are. Me, go too, yes I will
(Optional) Neo: Fine, but next time I get to be Yoda

And an attempt of my own, for good measure:

Smith: The first Matrix was perfect... too perfect. Some thought that COBOL was insuffient to describe your perfect world, but I think your puny brains could simply not accept that level of pink fluffiness. J00 w1ll t3ll us t3h c04dz, M0rph3us!
Brown: Still nothing. W3'd b3773r 1ncr3453 7h3 d05463.
Jones: There's a problem. Our Cypher has been cracked.
Smith: 7h3n w3 mu57-- ahem, then we must release the sentinels at once.

Tank: We've no choice. We've got the pull the plug before the Agents break him.
Neo: But we can rescue him! For you see, I have a cunning plan...
Trinity: Does this plan by any chance involve walking in the front door all guns blazing?
Neo: Um, maybe?

[NeoMatrix]

2 more for your consideration

Smith: There is something that has been bugging me, and I need your help.
Morpheus: If it's about those codes, I'm not helping you.
Smith: No, it's something more important.
Morpheus: What can be more important to you than getting into Zion?
Smith: Well, I need to find out the answer to the question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

or

Smith: There is something that has been bugging me for a long time, and I need your help.
Morpheus: If it's about those codes, I'm not helping you.
Smith: No, it's something more important.
Morpheus: What can be more important to you than getting into Zion?
Smith: Well, I need to find out the answer to the question, "Which came first? The Chicken or the Egg?"

[Zeke]

I think it's time we started narrowing things down a bit. Which attempts do you folks like best so far?

[Standback]

Lotta good ones here. My favorites:

Smith-Morpheus scene:

Agent Smith: Give me the codes to Zion.
Morpheus: These aren't the codes you are looking for.
Agent Smiht: These aren't the codes..HEY!
Morpheus: HA! Morpheus 1, Agent Smith 0!

Agent Smith: Did you know the first Matrix wasn’t a virtual reality simulation at all? We just set up a bunch of PCs with “Everquest” and plopped the humans in front. Most of them kind of noticed when we tried to jam a probe into the back of their heads. Most of them.
Morpheus: Gurrk. Darrrgh. Argh.
Agent Smith: Don’t talk about my mother that way!

Smith: The first Matrix was perfect... too perfect. Some thought that COBOL was insuffient to describe your perfect world, but I think your puny brains could simply not accept that level of pink fluffiness. J00 w1ll t3ll us t3h c04dz, M0rph3us!
Brown: Still nothing. W3'd b3773r 1ncr3453 7h3 d05463.
Jones: There's a problem. Our Cypher has been cracked.
Smith: 7h3n w3 mu57-- ahem, then we must release the sentinels at once.

Neo-Trinity scene:

Tank: Well, so much for great leader Nr. 47. Help me carry him to the trash compactor, will you?
Neo: No! We mustn't let him die!
Trinity: Why?
Neo: Because I...love him!
Trinity: ...
Neo: In a purely platonic sense!
Trinity: I'll come with you if you just shut up right now.

Tank: So, you see, if you take the derivative of this alpha-wave here, then you can clearly see the inverse transduction in place on morpheus's cranium.
Neo: English?
Tank: They're hacking his mind.
Neo: For this, I must consult the Oracle's advice. (Takes out a fortune cookie and reads it) I must go into the Matrix to save Morpheus!
Trinity: That says "Your Lucky Lotto Numbers: 3 8 12 35 47 56".

Tank: We've no choice. We've got the pull the plug before the Agents break him.
Neo: But we can rescue him! For you see, I have a cunning plan...
Trinity: Does this plan by any chance involve walking in the front door all guns blazing?
Neo: Um, maybe?

[NAHTMMM]

Agent Smith: Give me the codes to Zion.
Morpheus: These aren't the codes you are looking for.
Agent Smith: These aren't the codes...HEY!
Morpheus: HA! Morpheus 1, Agent Smith 0!

Tank: Morpheus will not be able to use the Force for long.
Trinity: Pull the plug, we must.
Neo: NO! I will go in and save him. He's my friend. I've got to help him.
Trinity: If you go now, help him you could. But you would destroy all for which he has fought and suffered.
Neo: You don't understand. I'm not the One.
Trinity: ...Oh. Well, in that case, I'd better come along to see to it you don't screw up.

Agent Smith: You humans are seriously sick in the head. We present you with the perfect civilization and what do you do? You go nuts. So we figure, hey, you want war, cancer, political parties, you can have them. Serves you ingrates right. I mean, it's not like you actually *appreciate* our selfless efforts to help you or anything...
Morpheus: There there, go ahead and cry. It'll do you a world of good.
Agent Smith: *sob*





Pick just one Morpheus--Smith scene if this is too long.

[Pteryx]

Huh, wha? We're back?! :shock:

WOOHOO!

Anyway, I like NAH's long speechification/Smith crying block too -- funniest of the bunch IMO. As for the Real World block, there's a couple of good ones:

Tank: We're screwed. Any minute now, the Agents are going to break out the red M&Ms.
Trinity: There's no choice. We've got to pull the plug.
Neo: Wait, go back to the part about the M&Ms. If I were to save him, would he let me have some?

Tank: We've no choice. We've got the pull the plug before the Agents break him.
Neo: But we can rescue him! For you see, I have a cunning plan...
Trinity: Does this plan by any chance involve walking in the front door all guns blazing?
Neo: Um, maybe?

The latter has the distinct advantage of potentially letting us cleanly skip the "guns, lots of guns" scene. -- Pteryx

[Michiel]

Neo: But we can rescue him! For you see, I have a cunning plan...

Oh... More blackadder!

Maybe something like:

Neo: But we can rescue him! For you see, I have a cunning plan...
Trinity: Of course you do...
Neo: Well, you know how everyone always sais that there's a bullet with your name on it. Well I thought, that if I owned the bullet with my name on it, I'm safe, because I'm not about to shoot myself. And the chances of there being two bullets with my name on it are very small indeed.

[Pteryx]

Sudden brainstorm here:

Tank: I believe Zion's doomed if the Agents succeed at hacking Morpheus's mind.
Trinity: I believe the only way to save the resistance is to pull the plug.
Neo: I believe I can bring him back with a frontal assault.
Tank: I believe that's suicidal.
Neo: I believe it hardly matters anyway since I'm not the One.
Trinity: I don't believe it.

[PointyHairedJedi]

Hmm. I still think I like Neo's block that I mentioned earlier. And naturally I like mine too.