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The Stuff You Always Wanted to Say Game
Through a series of events too long to recount here, I stumbled onto a site (http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_revenge.shtml) that tells stories about how ignorant some people are about computers. One story is the following:
Customer: "Can I ask you a really stupid question?" Tech Support: "Yes. And history will bear me out on that." Needless to say, that user was also a friend. I have always wanted to say this to someone, and there he was! So, the game is, what phrases have you waited to say? Stuff you've read someplace and wanted to show off. Obscure puns you've wanted to repeat. Absolutely horrible groaners that you've wanted to inflict on an audience. We can also extend this to lines that we like to use, even though they are only amusing to ourselves. Now I'll start of with my own examples: I like to use the phrase "ciao for now" expressly because it is corny. My brother once inadvertanly created one of the funniest and most horrible puns ever invented in my presence. He said that his role model was the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Get it? My sister and I still laugh over that one. One time I actually said Shazam as an expletive, and even I immediately winced. As for what I've always wanted to say, the answer is simple. I've been waiting for years for someone to ask what the meaning of life is, just so I can say 42. Horribly retreaded, overused, beaten to death, resurrected, then beated to death again joke, but I still love the idea of it. It cheers me up at times when little else will.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#2
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Somebody stopped me on the street in Manhattan once and asked me how to get to Chelsea Piers.
I looked him dead in the eye and said "Practice, practice, practice." (then I gave him directions. But it was too perfect of a setup not to do it.)
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Any truth is better than indefinite doubt. — Sherlock Holmes "The Adventure of the Yellow Face," Arthur Conan Doyle |
#3
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That looks like the kind of unintellible joke that one would be better not to understand. Ignorance is bliss.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#4
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The word you're looking for is "unintelligible", I think, and the joke to which evay was alluding has been around just about as long as has Carnegie Hall, if not longer. If you want to pretend that it's too cryptic, well, then... that's up to you.
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Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python) |
#5
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It's all Greek to me. You guys are my gyros.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#6
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εὐχαριστῶ σοί
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#7
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Exactly *eyeroll*
Don't worry Nate, I didn't get it either :P But then again, I live in a box. I don't really have anything I've always wanted to say, probably because I tend to just say things as they pop into my head. Rarely an unvoiced thought. Yes, this does get me into a whole lot of troube :P
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Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER. |
#8
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Well, Chelsea is also a (rather naff) first name, so...
@Derek: lipon? En arche en ho logos!
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O to be wafted away From this black aceldama of sorrow; Where the dust of an earthy today Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow! |
#9
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No clue what lipon means.
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"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#10
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It's the opposite of lipoff.
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Alexia: You have to laugh, or you'd kill yourself xD Lostoyannaya: Yes. Now take that noose off your neck and get down from the chair. IN THAT ORDER. |
#11
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Don't be so lipy
It means something like 'well' or 'so', IIRC...
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O to be wafted away From this black aceldama of sorrow; Where the dust of an earthy today Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow! |
#12
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I'd wonder what it's like to live in a box, but I basically do also. I mean, my room is only eight by ten, and it's bedroom, living room, den, yadda yadda.
So is no one going to lynch and/or exalt me for my gyro/hero joke?
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#13
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I don't get the joke. However, I vote for lynching because it sounds like a bad one.
I don't have anything I want to say that I don't. Probably because I always say what I feel like saying no matter how bad an idea it is. Which it often is. It's a miracle no one's killed me yet.
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Sig v8.2.2 No, I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm going to go and do it anyway. *pokes avatar* Made by a good LJ friend. Thanks Ani! Dark Blues: I'm going to kill you! Enzan: Not if I kill me first! Dark Blues: You...are aware my goal is accomplished either way, right? Enzan: ...Yeah... |
#14
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After being told time after time that you don't say gyro like it's short for gyroscope, most people around here tend to overpronounce it, transforming into something more closely resembling "yeer-oh." This sorta, vaguely, obscurely rhymes with hero.
We were on a vaguely-Greek topic, so I decided to make an awful pun.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#15
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at work people ask all the time, "Do you work here?"
I've always wanted to say, "No i just wear the vest and straighten the shelves for the fun of it."
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Vulcan children are never late with their Sehlat's dinner |
#16
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I feel for ya. In high school and college I tended to go around in polo shirts and khakis, just because I thought that they looked more professional without having the high cleaning bills or monkey suit factor of more formalwear. And yet people were ALWAYS asking if I worked whereever I was, no matter what the official employee shirt color was. I guess that people just have a natural predilection that tall clean-cut guys with glasses will invariably end up in retail. That's just weird.
I suppose it could be considered a compliment, but always considered it an insult to their intelligence. Genuine retail employees generally have nametags and aren't wearing sneakers. Did anyone notice this? Nope. Never.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#17
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For some bizarre reason, when I ring up people on the phone, they generally assume I'm about 95...It may not help that I usually begin with 'Oh, err, hello...'.
In bookshops, I also tend to open with 'Err, hello. I'd err, I'd like err, err, to buy a book." I tend to get the 'you-are-a-retard' look/voice back, but it's worth it straining their patience. Especially when it's something pseudo-obscure...
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O to be wafted away From this black aceldama of sorrow; Where the dust of an earthy today Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow! |
#18
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Having known my share of bipolar people, I will stay out of this one. It's a hornet's nest that I'd really not step into.
Pseudo-obscure? How does that work? Either it's obscure or it's not. Not much middle ground there. Or do you mean that it's probably obscure to the other person, but not to you?
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
#19
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Bipolar? Who mentioned bipolar disorders? O_o
As for pseudo-obscure- things like a direct translation of Book X of the Aeneid would count as pseudo-obscure.
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O to be wafted away From this black aceldama of sorrow; Where the dust of an earthy today Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow! |
#20
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I really, REALLY hate the terms "retard" and "retarded." Not for vulgarity reasons per se, more like "horribly imprecise." Some people use them as shortcuts to avoid using more accurate terms that could actually give hints as to how to interact with the sufferers. I jump to "bipolar" as the easiest catchall term that doesn't have negative connotations for me. Besides, most of the "three fries short of a Happy Meal" people I know are bipolar, so that's what I use.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. |
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