March 11 (5MB5: Five-Minute "Dust to Dust")

[Zeke]

B5 time! Here's a Sa'ar Chasm fiver that's been waiting for too long: "Dust to Dust." Sa'ar has dedicated this to the memory of Andreas "G'Kar" Katsulas, a tremendous actor I once got to see in person. (Poor Sa'ar. In such a short time as a section head, this is his second memorial fiver.)

On a side note, those who are waiting for me to reply to them about one thing or another will be pleased to hear that I'm finally making some real progress on my email backlog. I've already reduced my inbox load by 100 messages. This'll mean the publication of some long-delayed guest fivers.

[Alexia]

Originally Posted by Zeke

I've already reduced my inbox load by 100 messages.

Did you delete them

[PointyHairedJedi]

So Sa'ar has also started calling himself Derek, eh? This could get confusing. 'Twas a good fiver though, even if that SOAP reference was so painfully last year by now. :P

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by PointyHairedJedi

So Sa'ar has also started calling himself Derek, eh?

No he hasn't shut up shut up shut up.

Ahem.

Also, SOAP isn't over until I finish writing that thing I was going to write with the things and the other things.

[mudshark]

Ivanova: Unlimber sponson... unship frizzen...
Bester: (over the comm) ...hello? Anyone there?
Ivanova: Deploy BFG... acquire target...

Nice use of terminology.

Ashi: Not the hair, not the hair! OK, I'll talk. The man running Dust is named Morgenstern.
Garibaldi: Morgenstern? Inconceivable!

Still not sure I get this one

Londo: G'Kar, his brain twitching.
G'Kar: Londo, his eyes bleeding.
Londo: Now that you've vented your drug-fueled rage, we can go our separate ways and forget this ever happened, yes?
G'Kar: No, actually. I'd prefer to rifle through your memories... let's see, embarassing anecdotes, complicity in war atrocities, witnessing the bombing of the Narn homeword... I must say, those fires look rather fake.
Londo: Yes, we refer to the process as artificial incineration.

*snicker*

Londo: Snakes!

Sheridan: Yes! He was framed! It wasn't him, it was the one-armed Narn! Furthermore...
Magistrate: This could go on for a while. Before he finishes, I sentence you to 60 days in the brig.
G'Kar: Two months? If I'd known I'd get off that easy, I'd have beaten Mollari senseless years ago.

And, um ... other stuff, too. Nice, as usual.

[Derek]

Magistrate: Citizen G'Kar, before sentence is passed, is there anything you wish to say?
G'Kar: Not reall--
Sheridan: Yes! He was framed! It wasn't him, it was the one-armed Narn! Furthermore...

Wouldn't that still be G'Kar?

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Wouldn't that still be G'Kar?

One-armed, not one-eyed.

Still not sure I get this one

Reference to the novel version of the Princess Bride.

[mudshark]

Of course -- why didn't I think of that? (Quite probably because I've never read it.)

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Of course -- why didn't I think of that? (Quite probably because I've never read it.)

Hah! A reference you didn't get! And they said it couldn't be done.

[mudshark]

They did?

*looks around, suspiciously*

Happens quite often, really. I don't always chase them down for myself quite as vigorously as I used to when I first arrived; now, likely as not, I'll just ask. This one, though... as it turns out, I'd read about S. Morgenstern before, and just plain didn't remember it.

[Nate the Great]

Okay, infodump time. Standard disclaimers of the frailty of the human memory apply. S. (Simon) Morgenstern is a literary device made up by William Goldman. He had this awesome idea for a novel, but couldn't find a way to tie together all the scenes into a cohesive novel. So he decided to write down the scenes and tie them together via expository monologue. In the novel, Simon Morgenstern acually lived in the kingdom of Florin, which exists somewhere around Belgium, if I'm not mistaken. He was Jewish (hence the somewhat exaggerated characterizations of Miracle Max and Valerie) who had learned to speak in five languages (two of which are presumably Florinese and Guilderese), but after immigrating to America he was reduced to jobs in the service industry. William Goldman's grandfather met him in a cafe in New York and got a firsthand account of the events of the fall of Humperdinck and the escape of Buttercup and Westley. Morgenstern had written the Princess Bride partially as a history novel about his homeland, but mostly as a satirical jab at the follies of the aristocrasy. Goldman's grandfather had a copy of the book, but promptly tossed out all the "boring bits" about what was served at the banquet for each night during the ninety days between Buttercup's kidnapping and the wedding, the pages upon pages of Humperdinck's stepmother packing her stuff to go to Florin to arrange the marriage of Humperdinck to the princess of Guilder (who wears a wig, by the way), pages of her unpacking, what happened during Buttercup's princess training for those three years between Westley's death and the big announcement, and so on. Page after page that never existed Goldman pretended to erase, deciding to use his fictional grandfather as a literary device to get to the "Good Bits."

[Kristina]

YES - a B5 fiver! The Monty Python movie references in one paragraph had me cackling, but what really got me was Londo and G'Kar when I thought they were talking like the Children of Tama - only they weren't... I got that one wrong. But you didn't, Sa'ar - good work!

[Sa'ar Chasm]

but what really got me was Londo and G'Kar when I thought they were talking like the Children of Tama - only they weren't... I got that one wrong.

Oh, but they were. They weren't using the exact phrases from the episode, but that was the style I was trying to capture.

[MmeBlueberry]

Originally Posted by mudshark

Of course -- why didn't I think of that? (Quite probably because I've never read it.)

I've read it, but for the record, S. Morgenstern is mentioned in the movie as well, when Columbo starts reading the book.

The Princess Bride, by S. Morgenstern. Chapter One. "Buttercup was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favorite pastimes were riding her horse and tormenting the farm boy that worked there. His name was Westley, but she never called him that." Isn't that a wonderful beginning?

[Nate the Great]

Well, sure, of course he's also in the movie. I never said he wasn't.