Funny Questionaire Thingy - Does what it says on the tin.

[PointyHairedJedi]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]OK, I 'borrowed' (translation 'stole' ) this from taya's blog, which in turn was borrowed from someone else, which was then borrowed from someone else again. It's fairly funny, so I thought, why not?

Be warned - I cannot be held responsible for any loss of sanity incurred as a result of reading the following post.


YOUR NAME

The singular boring question: What is your name?:
Luke Harty.

If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?:
Josephene - don't ask why I like that name, I just do.

Would you name a child of yours after you?:
Heck no. then I'd have to call 'em Junior, and I'm just not that cruel.

If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?:
Graham.

What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?:
It's pretty hard to mispronounce. I have had people try to spell my surname with an e before though.

If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)?:
No. And anyway, the odds on me becoming in any way famous are pretty long.

DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS

Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?:
No. I believe in the Discworld view of Heaven and Hell.

Do you think God has a gender?:
*Stifled laughter*
Next question.

Do you think science counteracts religion?:
No.

Do you believe in organized religion?:
Sort of.

Where do you think we go when we die?:
See above 'Discworld' aswer.

Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this category?:
Not in the slightest.

HUMOR

How easy is it to make you laugh?:
Depends how much sugar I've had.

What person you know makes you laugh the most?:
Zeke.

Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't?:
No.

Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't?:
Yes. Really, [iost_uid0]really[/iost_uid0] lame ones.

What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?:
Errr....kablazmo, and probably some others that I can't remember right now.

What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written?:
Apart from my fiver, I once made a spectacularly witty retort, but, as the saying goes, you really had to be there.

MUSIC

Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching?:
No. I don't dance. Period.

What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?:
The list is endless.

What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?:
"One Thing Leads to Another" by The Fixx, and "Come Together" by the Beatles.

What song(s) are constantly in your head?:
The theme from Joe 90, the aformentioned "Come Together", and "King of Rock and Roll" by Prefab Sprout.

What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?:
I dunno. Something by David Bowie probably.

If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use?:
Trust me, they wouldn't be the object of my affections if I wanted to sing to them.

If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used?:
I wouldn't really mind as long as it wasn't something I really didn't like.

MOVIES

What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to?:
Hehe. Easy question. Without a doubt David Lynch's [iost_uid0]Dune[/iost_uid0].

Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original?:
No.

Who's your favorite Star Wars character?:
R2D2.

What kind of movie do you think there should be more of?:
What kind? The non-crap kind I guess.

What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of?:
Any film that is simply a vehicle for a celebrity/singer/band.

FOOD

When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness?:
Taste.

What's your favorite kind of cheese?:
Emmental.

What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?:
That I like cheese?

If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?:
Probably not. But then I only rarely eat fast food anyway, so it's pretty much a moot point.

Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?:
No.

COMPUTERS

Mac or PC?:
In a perfect world, Mac.

How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works?:
Not a great deal. Getting the software on the computer to work is a different matter entirely.

Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?:
Not really, no. Ninety percent of the people I talk to are actual friends, so I talk to them as I would do anyway.

Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?:
Not really. Forums on the other hand...

Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?:
e-whatnow?

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES

Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?:
Sort of.

What do you love most about the other gender?:
A generalised question such as this deserves an equally generalised answer. So, everything and nothing.

What do you dislike most about the other gender?:
See above.

What do you understand least about the other gender?:
It's other people I don't understand full stop - gender really has nothing to do with it.

CELEBRITIES

Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it?:
No.

What celebrity's autograph do you want most?:
A toughie. Either Gene Roddenberry, Glenn Miller, Tom Hanks, Alec Guinness or someone who has walked on the Moon.

Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who?:
Errr...no. I did have a teacher that looks like daytime TV DIY guru Nick Knowles though.

If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)?:
Sam Neill maybe? He's nothing like me, but I think he's a good actor.

Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why?:
No, but it annoys me when I see an actor in something and I can't remember their name even though I know that I know it.

If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter?:
Ian Banks - I'd just love to know how his mind works.

Do you want to be John Malkovich?:
Can't say that I do.

NUMBERS

Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69?:
No, just 47.

Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?:
No.

Do you actually know your Social Security Number?:
I guess the equivalent would be my National Insurance number, and no, I don't know it.

Do you actually know your IP address?:
Errr......Stoke-on-Trent?

Do you know what an IP address is?:
Vaguely.

Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code?:
Postcode, and yes I do know it.

Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?:
No. You see, the numbers are never wrong. Just the people that come up with them.

Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.?:
Nope. Infinty minus one, however....

What do you think of pi?:
*Drools* Mmm...steak and kidney...

LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT

Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title?:
Sorta.

If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?:
Hypothetically speaking (since it's never actually happened), it would depend on who was asking.

Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"?:
Again, hypothetically speaking, I'd prefer to know them at least a bit.

Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?:
I suppose.

Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?:
Personally, I don't care who asks who out. It shouldn't matter.

What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?:
I'll let you know when I've actually experienced it.

Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?:
That all depends on your definition of 'physically unnatractive'. I could say no, but then I don't go around labling people as ugly. In my view, people just look different.

Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?:
Not in the least.

Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?:
Yes. Or I could just get a pet I suppose.

POSSESSIONS

What is your favorite possession?:
My 'library'. At the last count, 6+ boxes worth of books.

What physical, tangible possession do you want most?:
A TARDIS.

How badly do you want it?:
Badly enough.

Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'?:
No.

How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section?:
No time at all. Bad pun detection becomes second nature once you've been at 5MV long enough.

HOLIDAYS

Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you?:
No. Easter eggs on the shelves a month early does though.

How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older?:
What an odd question. I don't suppose I ever will, though there might be bits that I'll look back on and wich I could live again.

What was the best Halloween costume you ever had?:
Never had one - I've never been Trick or Treating in my whole life.

What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had?:
See above.

What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning?:
Love Day perhaps?

There are currently no federal holidays during August -- what should be put there?:
Pass.

MEMORIES

How good is your short-term memory?:
It varies from pretty bad to abso-fricken-loutely awful.

How good is your long-term memory?:
Good for remembering things in the past, not so good for remembering things I have to do in the future.

What is your earliest memory?:
I have a few scattered memories from before I moved to Scotland (which was about age 3) which include that of my sister being born.

What is your happiest memory?:
My happiest memories generally involve Ben (deceased golden Labrador who was a bit of a twit) and Biskett (deceased ginger cat who had a perpetually dirty chin and used to drool when really happy).

What is your strangest memory?:
I have this really wierd memory of an event involving a snake and a broken bottle of milk that even though I know to be untrue still persists.

What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize?:
[iost_uid0]Dune[/iost_uid0], book and film. Then I could baffle people with lots of obsucre references. Oh wait, I do that already. Oh well.

TEARS

What movie makes/made you cry?:
I'm kinda ashamed to admit this, the end of [iost_uid0]Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country[/iost_uid0] always makes me go teary eyed.

What book makes/made you cry?:
None that I can think of.

What song makes/made you cry?:
None, though there is one bit of James Horner's score for [iost_uid0]Apollo 13[/iost_uid0] called "Dark Side of the Moon" that makes me feel quite emotional.

What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried?:
Random stuff that makes no sense. A good example is one time when I was watching a TV program called "Pet Rescue" that follows a bunch RSPCA people around and this cat came up on the TV (one of those ones with flat faces) and for some inexplicable reason I found it hilarious. I didn't stop laughing for a good five minutes.[/colorost_uid0]