#101
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What is guaranteed to go hideously awry, with a humourous resolution five minutes before the closing credits?
A: A new girlfriend.[/colorost_uid0]
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#102
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What bribe could possibly be big enough to get Kim to betray Voyager and hand the whole ship over to Seska and the Kazon?
A. Two peanut shells, a stick of fruity chewing gum, and an Everlasting Gobstopper. [quoteost_uid0]Why does Standback have so much suppressed anger?[/quoteost_uid0] Surpressed anger? [iost_uid0]Me?![/iost_uid0] You say that one more time and I'll track you down and hound you across the Arctic wasteland and rip your guts out and feed them to the polar bears! [iost_uid0]Angry[/iost_uid0] polar bears! Hmph.[/colorost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
#103
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What is the best present to get my best friend's sister for her classy, sophisticated wedding?
A: KAZAM! Pizza in Pink Organza[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life. Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock: Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them. Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!) Needing more sleep since before 2003 |
#104
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q:What did Q do to Neelix's latest meal?
A: Instant messagers on Voyager[/colorost_uid0] |
#105
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] What program was single-handedly responsible for the destruction of Voyager in "Timeless"?
_ [bost_uid0]A:[/bost_uid0] Animated gifs [quoteost_uid0="Standback"]Surpressed anger? [iost_uid0]Me?![/iost_uid0] You say that one more time and I'll track you down and hound you across the Arctic wasteland and rip your guts out and feed them to the polar bears! [iost_uid0]Angry[/iost_uid0] polar bears![/quoteost_uid0] *readies baguette* You and what army? [/colorost_uid0] |
#106
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What is the one piece of technology that must never get in the wrong hands?
A: The Burger King[/colorost_uid0] |
#107
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What does Neelix want to be when he grows up?
A. Seventy six trombones. [quoteost_uid0]*readies baguette* You and what army? [/quoteost_uid0] Ahh... You are clearly unfamiliar with my army of genetically enhanced Demon Pickles From Hell. I assure you, a measly Baguette of Thwapping is no match for the mighty forces of the Keeper of the Eternal Boofer.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
#108
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. How many musical instruments did the malfunctioning holodeck manufacture for Riker's jam session with Louis Armstrong?
A. He didn't see the "Lane ends in 5,000 ft." sign in time. [quoteost_uid0="Standback"][quoteost_uid0]*readies baguette* You and what army? [/quoteost_uid0] Ahh... You are clearly unfamiliar with my army of genetically enhanced Demon Pickles From Hell. I assure you, a measly Baguette of Thwapping is no match for the mighty forces of the Keeper of the Eternal Boofer.[/quoteost_uid0] Nor for my fearsome team of Tribble Commandos.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
#109
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: Why is it bad to go Warp 5 on the Interspace Highway?
A: A quiet day on Voyager[/colorost_uid0] |
#110
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What do you call it when Seven finds a new love interest, Janeway infilitrates a Borg cube, and Kim comes [iost_uid0]this close[/iost_uid0] to getting the ship back home?
A. A psychodelic orangutang. [quoteost_uid0]Nor for my fearsome team of Tribble Commandos.[/quoteost_uid0] Hmm... I can see the possibilities. I may contact you at some point regarding a strategic alliance.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
#111
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What do you get when you drop the Librarian in a vat of paintball pellets?
A: My left foot's ashes.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#112
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] What do I get if I cut off your left foot, throw it in the fire, crush the rest of your body between two star(ship)s, hack it to pieces and feed it to the fearsome tribble army?
[bost_uid0]A:[/bost_uid0] The ultimate result.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The strength of a civilization is not measured by its ability to wage wars, but rather by its ability to prevent them. - Gene Roddenberry |
#113
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What's better than a regular result?
A. The fourth of July, spent with an Irishman. [quoteost_uid0="Michiel"][bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] What do I get if I cut off your left foot, throw it in the fire, crush the rest of your body between two star(ship)s, hack it to pieces and feed it to the fearsome tribble army?[/quoteost_uid0] My god so violent. lol[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Dental Hygienists are X-Rayted. *´¨) ¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·`Floss Naked! |
#114
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What is it like to crash on a planet with Chakotay?
A: Tribble stew[/colorost_uid0] |
#115
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: What do you have very little of after you sift out the hairs?
A: Nuclear Weasel[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#116
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: Did you hear what happened when Mr. Burns tried to create a workforce out of Disney characters?
A: "Home and Garden" or "Pot and Bong" magazine.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life. Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock: Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them. Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!) Needing more sleep since before 2003 |
#117
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q:[/bost_uid0] What are the best materials to start a fire in the Mess Hall?
[bost_uid0]A:[/bost_uid0] Boom shubba lubba! [quoteost_uid0="Standback"]Ahh... You are clearly unfamiliar with my army of genetically enhanced Demon Pickles From Hell. I assure you, a measly Baguette of Thwapping is no match for the mighty forces of the Keeper of the Eternal Boofer.[/quoteost_uid0] Evil Sentient Fruit beat Demon Pickles from Hell anyday (can you feel a war brewing out here?)[/colorost_uid0] |
#118
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q: According to Ivonova, what comes after the boom tomorrow?
A: Sweet Georgia Brown[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#119
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Q[/bost_uid0]: What is generally considered to be the opposite of Bitter Alaska Green?
[bost_uid0]A[/bost_uid0]: Wow-wow sauce.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
#120
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Q. What sauce is spelled the same, forward and backwards?
A. Bite marks from puppy teeth.[/colorost_uid0]
__________________
Dental Hygienists are X-Rayted. *´¨) ¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·`Floss Naked! |
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